Blood Simple Monologues
The owner of a seedy small-town Texas bar discovers that one of his employees is having an affair with his wife. A chaotic chain of misunderstandings, lies and mischief ensues after he devises a plot to have them murdered.
Private Detective Loren Visser Monologues
The world is full o' complainers. An' the fact is, nothin' comes with a guarantee. Now I don't care if you're the pope of Rome, President of the United States or Man of the Year; somethin' can all go wrong. Now go on ahead, y'know, complain, tell your problems to your neighbor, ask for help, 'n watch him fly. Now, in Russia, they got it mapped out so that everyone pulls for everyone else... that's the theory, anyway. But what I know about is Texas, an' down here... you're on your own.
Uh, well, if the pay's right, and it's legal, I'll do it.
Well, if the pay's right, I'll do it.
You know, you know, a friend of mine a while back broke his hand and put it in a cast. Very next day, he falls, protects his bad hand, and he breaks his good one. So he breaks it too, you know. So, now he's got two busted flippers. So, I says to him: "Creighton," I says. "I hope your wife really loves you, because for the next five weeks, you can't even wipe your own god damn ass."
That's the test, ain't it? Test of true love.
Gimme a call whenever you wanna cut off my head. I can always crawl around without it.
Well first off, Julian, I don't know what the story is in Greece but in this state we got very definite laws about that. Second place I ain't a messenger, I'm a private investigator. And third place - and most important - it ain't such bad news. I mean you thought he was a colored. You're always assumin' the worst.
She saw me rollin' a cigarette and thought it was marijuana. Thought I was a swinger, I guess.
Now I... do a murder. Two murders. Trust you not to go simple on me and do something stupid. I mean, really stupid. Now, why should I trust you?
For money. Yeah, that's a right smart of money. In Russia, they make only 50 cent a day.
It's taken care of. The less you know about it, the better.
