Constantine Monologues

Supernatural exorcist and demonologist John Constantine helps a policewoman prove her sister's death was not a suicide, but something more.

Detective. What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?

Humor me. No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule. Just influence. See who would win.

Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling.

You're right. We're born capable of terrible things, but then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.

I guess there's a plan for all of us. I had to die - twice - just to figure that out. Like the book says, He works His work in mysterious ways. Some people like it. Some people don't

I know I'm not one of your favorites. I'm not even welcome in your house. But, I could use a little attention.

So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my… retirement.

I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go...

What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison where half the inmates were put there by you?

Angels and Demons can't cross over onto our plane. So, instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. But a single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch like those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit.

Officially, I was dead for two minutes… but when you cross over, time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell is a lifetime.

Paints a different view of Revelations. Says the world will not end by God's hand, but be reborn in the embrace of the damned. Though if you ask me, fire's fire.

You're not my slave, Chas, you're my very appreciated apprentice, like Tonto, or Robin, or that skinny fellow with the fat friend.

When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see.

Is this neutral? Bullshit! You're the only one still playing by the rules, Midnite, and while you've been imitating Switzerland people are dying. Hennessy, Beeman, they were your friends once, too, remember?

I need your help! Consider it a last request.

Two hundred dollar shirt, by the way.

But when you cross over… time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell is a lifetime. When I came back… I knew… all the things I could see were real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle.

Why me, Gabriel? It's personal, isn't it? I didn't go to church enough, I didn't pray enough, I… was five bucks short in the collection plate. Why?

When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see. My parents were normal. They did what most people would do. They made it worse. You think you're crazy long enough, you find a way out.