American Splendor Monologues

An original mix of fiction and reality illuminates the life of comic book hero everyman Harvey Pekar.

Well, there's a reliable disappointment.

Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.

My name is Harvey Pekar - that's an unusual name - Harvey Pekar. 1960 was the year I got my first apartment and my first phone book. Now imagine my surprise when I looked up my name and saw that in addition to me, another Harvey Pekar was listed. Now I was listed as "Harvey L. Pekar", my middle name is Lawrence, and he was listed as "Harvey Pekar" therefore his was a - was a pure listing. Then in the '70s, I noticed that a third Harvey Pekar was listed in the phone book, now this filled me with curiousity. How can there be three people with such an unusual name in the world, let alone in one city? Then one day, a person I work with, expressed her sympathy with me, concerning what she thought, was the death of my father, and she pointed out an obituary notice in the newspaper for a man named Harvey Pekar. And one of his sons was named Harvey. And these were the other Harvey Pekar's. And six months later, Harvey Pekar Jr. died. And although I've met neither man, I was filled with sadness, 'what were they like?', I thought, it seemed that our lives had been linked in some indefineable way. But the story does not end there, for two years later, another 'Harvey Pekar' appeared in the phone book. Who are these people? Where do they come from? What do they do? What's in a name? Who is "Harvey Pekar"?

I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty. Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.

Man, listen, I'll tell you something, people are starting to know the name Crumb. And when you croak, man, you're gonna leave something behind.

Oh, come on, man. I'll tell you something, it sure beats working a gig like mine, being a nobody flunky and selling records on the side for a buck.

Man, she's got good looking handwriting.

Ever since I read your stuff, man, I been thinkin', I could write comic book stories that are different from anything that's being done. I figure, you know, that the guys that are doing animal comics and, eh, super hero stuff, they're really limited. 'Cause they got to try to appeal to kids. And underground stuff, like yours, have been really subversive and its opened things up politically. But, there's still plenty more to be done with them too, you know.

The words and pictures, they could be more of an art form. You know, like those French movies or, or, eh, or De Sica over in Italy. So, anyway, I just, I tried to, I tried to write you some stuff about - real life - you know, stuff that the everyman's got to deal with.

Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as "The Little Mermaid" and all that magical crap.

Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28-year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto. They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket. Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but "Revenge of the Nerds" ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullshit.