You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.
My cemetery’s in Key Biscayne. It’s one of the prettiest in the world. The sky is blue, palm trees, rolling hills. The one is Los Copa’s really shit.
What a pain in the ass you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh.
Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I’m a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I’m not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don’t give a damn what he thinks.
Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin’? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!
A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens. And a man’s wealth is measured by the size of his cock.
So what? The important thing to remember is not to go to pieces when that happens. You have to react like a man, calmly. You have to say to yourself, “Albert, you pierced the toast, so what? It’s not the end of your life.”
Don’t worry about that. I’m very maternal. And Albert’s practically a breast.
So this is Hell. And there’s a crucifix in it.
Oh please, look at you! Look at the way you’re holding your glass! Look at your pinky! Look at your posture!
Albert, these people are right-wing conservatists. They don’t care if you’re a pig, they just care if you’re a fag!… Ah, fuck ’em! Of course you can pass as an uncle!
What we really need is a woman. We can get away with Albert as an uncle if we had a woman as a mother. Ironic, isn’t it? When you need a woman…
I can’t. And I won’t. This is too crazy. You do this, you’re on your own. You got that, sport? You don’t come back here, you don’t ask me for anything, I want nothing to do with it.
Take it! Take it all! What difference does it make if I say you can stay or if you say I can stay?
