William Monahan

King Baldwin Monologues

Come forward. I am glad to meet Godfrey's son. He was one of my greatest teachers. He was there when, playing with the other boys, my arm was cut. It was he, not my father's physicians, who noticed that I felt no pain. He wept when he gave my father the news... that I am a leper. The Saracens say that this disease is God's vengence against the vanity of our kingdom. As wretched as I am, these Arabs believe that the chastisement that awaits me in hell is far more severe and lasting. If that's true, I call it unfair. Come. Sit.

Do you play?

The whole world is in chess. Any move can be the death of you. Do anything except remain where you started, and you can't be sure of your end. Were you sure of your end once?

What was it?

And now?

When I was sixteen, I won a great victory. I felt in that moment I would live to be a hundred. Now I know I shall not see thirty. None of us know our end, really, or what hand will guide us there. A king may move a man, a father may claim a son, but that man can also move himself, and only then does that man truly begin his own game. Remember that howsoever you are played or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone, even though those who presume to play you be kings or men of power. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus," or that virtue was not convenient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that.

A King may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be Kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that.

Spare me your sermon. Go and prepare your people for the coronation of my nephew.

I shall confess to God when I see him... not to you. Now, leave me.

I pray you retire unharmed to Damascus. Reynald of Chatillon will be punished. I swear it. Withdraw or we will all die here.

On your knees… lower. I am… Jerusalem. And you, Reynald, will give me the kiss of peace.

My beautiful sister. So beautiful. I'm sorry if I've caused you any pain. Remember me as I was.

If you continue like this, I shall have to find some use for you. If God can spare you, that is.

I felt in that moment that I would live to be a hundred. Now I know I shall not see thirty.

Balian de Ibelin Monologues

What man is a man who does not make the world better.

Before I lose it, I will burn it to the ground. Your holy places - ours. Every last thing in Jerusalem that drives men mad.

God will understand, my lord. And if he doesn't, then he is not God and we need not worry.

It is a kingdom of conscience, or nothing.

It has fallen to us, to defend Jerusalem, and we have made our preparations as well as they can be made. None of us took this city from Muslims. No Muslim of the great army now coming against us was born when this city was lost. We fight over an offence we did not give, against those who were not alive to be offended. What is Jerusalem? Your holy places lie over the Jewish temple that the Romans pulled down. The Muslim places of worship lie over yours. Which is more holy? The wall? The Mosque? The Sepulchre? Who has claim? No one has claim.

There's your religion. One spark, a creosote bush. There's your Moses. I did not hear it speak.

Go till the men speak Italian and continue until they speak something else

If we do not burn these bodies, we will all be dead of disease in three days. God will understand, my lord. And if he doesn't... then he is not God, and we need not worry.

Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Safeguard the helpless. Never lie, even if it leads to your death; that is your oath. And that is so you don't forget it. Rise a knight... rise a knight!

A queen never walks. Yet you are walking.

So they are dying for what the Pope would command them to do.

Dignam Monologues

Ok. My people are out there. They're like fuckin' indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more fuckin' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

I'm tired from fuckin' your wife.

Good, she's tired from fuckin' my father.

My theory on Feds is that they're like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts?

Hey asshole, he can't help you! I know what you are, okay? I know what you are and I know what you are not. I'm the best friend you have on the face of this earth, and I'm gonna help you understand something, you punk. You're no fuckin' cop!

Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right?

Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.

Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?

What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play? That guy, Jimmy Bags whose jaw you broke happens to work undercover for the Boston Police Department.

Calm down, alright? Most people in the world do it every day. What's the big deal?

Exactly. You're nobody. You signed the papers, remember? Now we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How about we just erase your file, huh? How 'bout that? How about we erase your file and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies. Huh? What do you say we do that, Captain?

That wasn't a joke. Just because you play a tough guy, doesn't mean you are one you lace-curtain, Irish fucking pussy!

You had 1400 on your SATs, kid. You're an astronaut, not a Statie.

Frank Costello Monologues

The COPS… are saying he's a cop… so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you… to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him IN the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday, TO GET A FUCKING BLOWJOB!

Don't laugh! This ain't Reality TV!

I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.

One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy.

I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating fuckin' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's fuckin' numbers.

The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?

Heavy lies the crown… sort of thing.

I'm concerned about a Chinaman who thinks it's wise to come to a business transaction with automatic weapons.

For his own good, tell Bruce Lee and the Karate Kids none of us are carrying automatic weapons. Because here - in this country… it don't add inches to your dick. You get a life sentence for it.

What we generally do - in this country... is one guy brings the items and the other guy pays him. No tickee, no laundry!

You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.

No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. You're Uncle Jackie - he also would kill my entire fucking family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.

Did you ever think about going back to school?

When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

I'll get you the records and what not. But listen to me, son. Don't disappoint me on this or some other guy will be putting their fat cock up little Miss Freud's ass.

It makes me curious to see you in this neighborhood. And if I can slander my own environment, it makes me sad. This, uh, regression. Plus, I don't know if it's beyond some fucking cop prick like Queenan to pull you out of the Staties and send you gift-wrapped to me. I just can't know. I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway.

Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam."

Smart, Colin. Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do. And, uh, something maybe happen to them. Maybe, uh, like that.

But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.

Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.

If these chinks wanna nuke Taiwan anytime in this century, they better shape up and show me $1 million dollars! What we generally do - in this country - is one guy brings the items, and the other guy pays him. "No tickee, no laundry"!

Colin Sullivan Monologues

The day you wouldn't take a promotion, let me know. And if you'd taken care of this, I wouldn't even be here.

And I'm gonna need the identity of your undercovers.

What Freud said about the Irish is: We're the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis.

If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.

You got a nice suit at home or do you like coming to work everyday dressed like you're goin' to invade Poland?

Look, Frank, if you don't relax, if you don't relax, I can't relax. All right? Now what I need you to do is you get me information on the people who were with you last night. Your crew. Get me Social Security numbers, get me...

All right, all right. Frank, Frank, Frank, I'm sorry, Frank. If you could, please. What I need are SS numbers, DOBs, just all the pedigree information so I can run it on my end and we can ID the prick. If you can just get me that information, what I can do is I can just - I - I - we're gonna handle it. I - I - I can handle it.

I can't wait to see you explain this one to a fucking Suffolk County jury you fucking cocksucker. This is gonna be fucking fun!

Uh, Jimmy had a rough month. Jimmy had a heart attack in jail, and then he got himself knifed at Boston City Hospital. I believe it's been in the papers.

Fuck you, fuckin' queers. Firemen gettin' pussy for the first time in the history of fire or pussy. Hey go save a kitten in a tree, you fucking homos.

Yeah, you got a tail. Two cars, not very subtle. They're not gonna be very subtle from now on. That's what I've been trying to tell you.

I think you better call your mother, and tell her you won't be home for supper.

Look it, fuck-stick, you don't have to trust me. Just listen to what I am saying to you.

Now why would you have to remind me of that? Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank, you gotta trust me. Alright, just trust me Frank. Hey, it fucking involves lying and I'm pretty fucking good at that. Right?

Now Mrs. Kennefick, I knew your son. I knew Miles. Now he was a little younger than me but he was behind me in school. I wanna get these people who did this to him. Would you like to help us? You wanna help us catch the people who forced your son to do a robbery and then killed him?

We have more monologues for You!