Scott Silver

Are you like me? Huh? Was this good enough to fight Sugar Ray? Never had to win, did I? You gotta do more in there. You gotta win a title. For you, for me, for Lowell. This is your time, all right? You take it. I had my time and I blew it. You don't have to. All right? You fuckin' get out there, and use all the shit that you've been through, all that fuckin' hell, all the shit we've gone through over the fuckin' years, and you put it in that ring right now. This is yours. This is fuckin' yours.

It's not fuckin' ladylike to be shoutin' in the street like this, all right?

Who used to be the pride of Lowell? Huh?

Right here. Who's the pride of Lowell now?

Hey, Mick, you think I knocked down Sugar Ray Leonard?

I was. I was.

He did not just get off the fuckin' couch. If he did, I'm gonna buy a couch like that.

What are you doing, running in here like a silverback fucking gorilla?

You went ten rounds. One of the best to ever do it. He couldn't hurt you. You were my hero.

You didn't give a fuck if I got killed by Mungin; now, all of a sudden, you're worried Sanchez is gonna hurt me? Why? I mean, come on, Dick. 'Cause you're stuck in here and can't be the center of attention no more?

Why can't you just shut up and be happy for me? I spent the last ten years of my life in bad fights set up by you and Alice. I finally got a good thing going for me and you can't be fuckin' happy for me? Why?

I'm the one fighting, okay? Not you, not you, and not you.

I don't have a girlfriend, all right? I... I like you. I came here because I don't wanna show my face in Lowell. I told everybody I was gonna win that fight and get back on track. I told my daughter I was gonna get a bigger apartment so she could move in. You don't think I wanted to call you? I was embarrassed. I mean, I'm sick of bein' a fuckin' disappointment. I...

The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't.

You don't listen, do you? I don't think you ever really hear me. You just ask the same questions every week. "How's your job?" "Are you having any negative thoughts?" All I have are negative thoughts.

I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it's a fucking comedy.

For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice.

I just hope my death makes more cents than my life.

I haven't been happy one minute of my entire fucking life.

Ugh, why is everybody so upset about these guys? If it was me dying on the sidewalk you'd walk right over me! I pass you everyday and you don't notice me! But these guys? Well because Thomas Wayne would cry about them on TV?

Have you seen what it's like out there, Murray? Do you ever actually leave the studio? Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody's civil anymore. Nobody thinks what it's like to be the other guy. You think men like Thomas Wayne ever think what it's like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves? They don't. They think that we'll just sit there and take it, like good little boys! That we won't werewolf and go wild!

I know it seems strange, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I don't know why everyone is so rude; I don't know why you are. I don't want anything from you. Maybe a little bit of warmth, maybe a hug, dad? How about just a little bit of fucking decency!

I've got nothing left to lose. Nothing can hurt me anymore. My life is nothing but comedy.

Comedy is subjective, Murray, isn't that what they say? All of you, the system that knows so much: you decide what's right or wrong the same way you decide what's funny or not.

She always tells me to smile, and put on a happy face.

I heard this song on the radio the other day, and the guy was singing that his name was Carnival.

Which is crazy, because that's my clown name. At work, until a little while ago, it was like nobody ever saw me. Even I didn't know if I really existed.