Roger Avary

I'm not eatin' 'cause I'm not hungry. I'm not sittin' 'cause I'm not stayin'. I'm not lookin' at the movie 'cause I saw it seven years ago. It's "The Mack" with Max Julien, Carol Speed, and Richard Pryor. I'm not scared of you. I just don't like you. In that envelope is some payoff money. Alabama's moving on to some greener pastures. We're not negotiatin'. I don't like to barter. I don't like to dicker. I never have fun in Tijuana. That price is non-negotiable. What's in that envelope is for my peace of mind. My peace of mind is worth that much. Not one penny more, not one penny more.

If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

You just said you love me, now if I say I love you and just throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may and you're lying to me I'm gonna fuckin' die.

I mean look at her. It looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

I always said, if I had to fuck a guy... I mean had to, if my life depended on it... I'd fuck Elvis.

I can't tell you… that was one of the best times I ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took off your dress, you… you didn't have a dick.

In "Jailhouse Rock" he was everything rockabilly's about. I mean, he is rockabilly. Mean, surly, nasty, rude. In that movie he couldn't give a fuck about nothing except rockin' and rollin', living fast, dying young and leaving a good-looking corpse.

Well, he ain't so much a good guy as he is just a bad mother fucker. I mean, he gets paid by people to fuck guys up.

Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things… about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers.

It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers.

So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. Now this…

No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.

Your ancestors are niggers. Uh-huh.

Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a nigger, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-nigger kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.

Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn, and that things would be much as they are now. Perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son Elvis.

...and all I could think was-you're so cool!

I had to come all the way from the highway and byways of Tallahassee, Florida to MotorCity, Detroit to find my true love. If you gave me a million years to ponder, I would never have guessed that true romance and Detroit would ever go together. And til this day, the events that followed all still seems like a distant dream. But the dream was real and was to change our lives forever. I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and things seemed to be getting so shitty. And he'd say, "that's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too." That's the way romance is… Usually, that's the way it goes, but every once in awhile, it goes the other way too.

I'm gonna go jump in the tub and get all slippery and soapy and then hop in that waterbed and watch X-rated movies 'till you get your ass back in my lovn' arms.

Please shut up! I'm trying to come clean, okay? I've been a call-girl for exactly four days and you're my third customer. I want you to know that I'm not damaged goods. I'm not what they call Florida white trash. I'm a good person and when it comes to relationships, I'm one-hundred percent, I'm one hundred percent… monogamous.

I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong room. My name is Saddie. We don't have any coke but there's a Pepsi machine down the hall. I don't know anybody named Clarence but perhaps my husband does. You can ask him because he'll be home any minute. He plays football. He's just at a… practice.

Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?

That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up.

I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

Don't you just love it when you come back from the bathroom and find your food waiting for you?

Oooh! This doesn't sound like the usual mindless boring getting to know you chit chat. It sounds like you actually have something to say.

No. No, no. You can't promise something like that. I have no idea what you're going to ask me. So you can go ahead and ask me what you're going to ask me, and my natural response could be to get offended, then through no fault of my own I would have broken my promise.

You heard Marcellus threw Tony Rocky Horror out a four story window for giving me a foot massage? And you believe that?

A husband being protective of his wife is one thing, a husband almost killing another man for touching his wife's feet is something else.

The only thing Antoine ever touched of mine was my hand, when he shook it, at my wedding.

Truth is, nobody knows why Marcellus threw Tony out of that four story window except Marcellus and Tony. When you little scamps get together, you're worse than a sewing circle.

Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he's wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?

I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow.

I ain't saying it's right. But you're saying a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does. Now look, I've given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they don't, but they do, and that's what's so fucking cool about them. There's a sensuous thing going on where you don't talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Antwone should have fucking better known better. I mean, that's his fucking wife, man. He can't be expected to have a sense of humor about that shit. You know what I'm saying?

Why the fuck didn't you tell us somebody was in the bathroom? Slipped your mind? Did you forget that somebody was in there with a goddamn hand cannon?

That's the Marilyn Monroe section that's Mamie Van Doren... I don't see Jayne Mansfield, she must have the night off or something.

Yeah, it's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't just walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffing away. You're only supposed to smoke in your home or certain designated places.

Yeah. It breaks down like this: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's still illegal to carry it around, but that doesn't really matter 'cause… get a load of this: if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have.

Hmm, hmm. Well, that is one way to say it. Another way to say it would be that he was thrown out. Another way would be that he was thrown out by Marcellus. And yet even another way to say it was that he was thrown out of the window by Marcellus because of you.