Richard LaGravenese

I've never been on a cow farm before. It seems to me that the bulls have the best time. Just laying around the fields waiting for someone to come along and ask them to do their work.

A million years before man they grazed the vast empty plains, living by voices only they could hear. They first came to know man as the hunted knows the hunter. Before he used horses for his labors, he killed them for meat. The alliance with man would forever be fragile. For the fear he struck deep into their hearts was too deep to be dislodged. Since that neolithic moment when a horse was first haltered, there were those among men who understood this. They could see into the creature's soul and sooth the wounds they found there. The secrets uttered softly into troubled ears. These men were known as the Whisperers.

There was a boy from the Blackfeet reservation, he used to do some work around here for a while. Sixteen, strong kid, good kid. He and I were really, really good friends. One day he went swimming and dove headfirst into the lake… and right into a rock. And it snapped his neck, paralyzed him. And after the accident I'd look in on him from time to time. But he wasn't there. It was like his mind, his spirit, whatever you want to call it, just disappeared. The only thing left was just anger. Just sort of as if the… the boy I once knew just went somewhere else.

I know you do. Don't you disappear. You do whatever you have to do to hold on.

I didn't know that it was right to love her. I just loved her.

You get born a bull you have a 90% chance of being castrated. Served up as hamburger. So on balance, I reckon I'd choose bein' a cow.

What went on out there with Pilgrim?

See Grace, I've got a problem. When I work with a horse, I like to know its history. Now sometimes, a horse, in their own way, can pretty much tell you the whole story. But sometimes, they get so messed up in their head that you need more to go on. Now I don't know how you feel about talking about it. And if you don't feel like it, I understand. But if I'm gonna figure out what's going on in his head, it sure would help me if I understood exactly what happened that day. You know, not today. Whenever you feel like it. I'll leave that up to you.

Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.

You've been thinking about me?

Have you ever thought of me in the nude?

Not even with my shirt off?

Daniel, I'm Daniel, are you ever gonna feel the way you felt about Gerry with anyone else, or do you need one of your letters to figure that out?

I really like you, but I can't be the Invisible Man. I'm tired of being the shoulder, I want to be another body part. I want to use up a woman so she's ruined for all other men.

No, I don't want to do that. I want to date a woman who actually likes men, I want to be somebody's Gerry.

Honestly, I don't blame you. It's not your fault, it's mine. I didn't plan on liking you, it just sort of happened that way, I'm sorry about that.

I don't meant to throw this at you from left field, but what do women want? I mean, I can't figure it out. They want us to ask; they, they don't want us to ask; they want us to make a move, not make a move. They want us to be on bottom; they want us to be on top. Use hair products, don't use hair products. What do you people want?

We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.

Look, if you ever just wanna get out... just do anything, just... I'll wait for your call. And just so you know, I'm not looking for "a thing" right now. I'm just flirting in good faith.

Hey, you're Irish. Maybe it's an Irish curse or something.

Well, there you go. That explains a lot, actually. I love the Yankees, too, and I lost my fiancée last year.

I think you're a little bit perverted. I mean, you bring me to an Irish Famine Memorial… and we're eating corned beef sandwiches. That's pretty sick.

No, you're not being stupid, baby. She doesn't like you.

No… she doesn't. I was nineteen when we got married. You corrupted me with sex and charm, and the longer it takes you to make your fortune, the less sexy and charming you are.

All I know is, if you don't figure out this something, you'll just stay ordinary, and it doesn't matter if it's a work of art, or a taco, or a pair of socks! Just create something… new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it… and you know a little more about… you. A little bit more than anyone else does… Does that make any sense at all?

What if this is it, Gerry? What if this is all there is to our life? You have to have a plan. Why do I have to be the responsible grown-up who worries? Why can't I be the cute, carefree Irish guy who sings all the time?

No, it's not gonna work. I feel like I'm trying on a new pair of shoes I really wanna buy, but they just don't fit. Sorry.

Do you think it'd be all right if I stop my life right here? Become good Miss Haversham of the Lower East Side? Never leave my apartment till I'm old. Sit in my wedding dress…

It's been a year. I don't feel him anymore. I feel he's gone. He's really gone!

Mom?

When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said... That's it, never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then he died! What was the point?

I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean, you're alone, no matter what.

God. I didn't come here for you to give me some bullshit honest answer. Why can't you lie to me just once?

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

Gerry thought it was the best way to honor the dead... you know, show them how well we're doing.

Dear Gerry, you said you wanted me to fall in love again, and maybe one day I will. But there are all kinds of love out there. This is my one and only life. And it's a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. I don't have a plan… except, it's time my mom laughed again. She has never seen the world. She has never seen Ireland. So, I'm taking her back where we started. Maybe now she'll understand. I don't know how you did it, but you brought me back from the dead. I'll write to you again soon. P.S… Guess what?

Robert, please. You don't understand, no-one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you.

I want to keep it forever. I want to love you the way I do now the rest of my life. Don't you understand... we'll lose it if we leave. I can't make an entire life disappear to start a new one. All I can do is try to hold onto to both. Help me. Help me not lose loving you.

I realized love won't obey our expectations, it's mystery is pure and absolute.

I had thoughts about him I hardly knew what to do with, and he read every one. Whatever I wanted, he gave himself up to, and in that moment everything I knew to be true about myself was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before.

I was just going to have some iced tea and split the atom, but that can wait.

We are the choices that we have made, Robert.

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before.

But love won't obey our expectations. Its mystery is pure and absolute. What Robert and I had, could not continue if we were together. What Richard and I shared would vanish if we were apart. But how I wanted to share this. How would our lives have changed if I had? Could anyone else have seen the beauty of it?

I gave my life to my family, I wish to give Robert what is left of me.

So, do you want more eggs or should we just fuck on the linoleum one last time?

They came home. And with them, my life of details.