Mike Binder
Charlie Fineman Monologues
Geena was five. Jenny was seven, she, uh… she liked boys already. Julie was 9. She was… she was older. They all looked alike, Johnson. Like Doreen. Doreen was my wife. DT. That was her nickname. Doreen Timpleman. She had a dog, Spider. Spider… the poodle. They'd wake me up all the time, Saturday mornings, you know, singing Beatles songs to me in harmony, the four of them… so cute, so cute. Doreen never judged me… never nagged like some wives do. Wanted me to take my shoes off so I didn't wreck the carpet. That's it. Doreen and the girls were VERY female. I… I… I was the oddball, you know. Mr. Man. They adored me, Johnson…
With the long brown hair... except little Geena. She kept the hair short... to be different from everybody... she, um, she had a birthmark, though. Looked like a burn... but it wasn't. She always said it was gonna go away, but it... it never did. Jenny, Jenny, this one... she wanted to be a gymnast. She was such a klutz, though. I didn't have the heart to mention it as a problem. They, uh, went to see Doreen's sister Ellen and her girls in Boston, and they took Spider, because... I had to work and they didn't trust me to feed her, but that was a joke. We were all going to DT's little cousin's wedding in Los Angeles, and I was gonna meet them out there... The kids wanted to go to Disneyland, but they... they uh, were already gonna miss a couple days of school, so we had to say no. You know. So I'm going out to meet them in Los Angeles, and on the way to JFK, I'm in a taxicab and I hear on the radio...
I get there and the man tells me the plane's from Boston… another man tells me there's two planes.
Then I go inside the airport and I'm watching. I'm watching on the television... and I... and I... I... I saw it. I saw it and I felt it at the same time. I thought about Geena's birthmark, and I... I felt them burning...
I don't need to talk about her or look at pictures. 'Cause the truth is, a lot of times, I see her, on the street. I walk down the street, I see her in someone else's face. Clearer than any of the pictures you carry with you. I get that you're in pain, but you've got each other. You got each other! And I'm the one who's gotta see her and the girls all the time. Everywhere I go! I even see the dog. That's how fucked up I still am! I look at a German shepherd, I see our goddamn poodle.
To tell you the truth, I kinda am, Johnson. I, uh, it's nice to see you in the soup like this. I'm not used to it. Any chance of you getting audited this week? That would make things even better. Or maybe we could go somewhere and you could burn your tongue on some pizza. How would you like that?
Yeah. Just make sure they never schedule me near that girl, all right? I would... No, it's just I never wanna see her again. That's trouble. She's too good-looking. I just... Nobody has a right to look that good. She's just trouble for everybody.