Jordan Peele

Then he sent me some weird pictures. I'm like, "Ah man, that's Andre Hayworth." This dude's been missing for 6 months, right? So I do all my research, you know, 'cause as a TSA agent. You know, you guys are detectives. You know, I got the same training. We might know more than y'all sometimes, you know, 'cause we are dealing with some terrorist shit, so… but that's a totally different story. So look, I-I go do my… my detective work, right? And I start putting pieces together. And see, this is what I came up with. They're probably abducting black people, brainwashing them and making them slaves… or sex slaves. Not just regular slaves, but sex slaves and shit. See? I don't know if it's the hypnosis that's making 'em slaves or what not, but all I know is they already got two brothas we know and there could be a whole bunch of brothas they got already. What's the next move?

Bro, I don't care if the bitch is Iyanla Vanzant, okay? She can't fix my motherfuckin' life. You ain't getting in my head.

Bro, how you not scared of this, man? Look they could have made you do all types of stupid shit. They have you fuckin' barking like a dog. Flyin' around like you a fuckin' pigeon, lookin' ridiculous. Okay? Or, I don't know if you know this. But, white people love making people sex slaves and shit.

Look, Jeffrey Dahmer was eatin' the shit out of niggas' heads. Okay? But that was after he fucked the heads. Do you think they saw that shit comin'? Hell no! Okay? They were coming over there like "I'm just gonna suck a little dick, maybe jiggle some balls or shit." No! They didn't get a chance to jiggle shit because their head was off their fuckin' body! Yeah, they still sucked the dick, but without their heads. It was fuckin' weird detached heads shit. You know, that's Jeffrey Dahmer's business.

Hey man, I ain't makin' this shit up. I saw it on A&E. That is real life.

It's because they probably hypnotized. Look bro, all I'm doin' is connectin' the dots. I'm takin' what you presented to me, okay? I'm gonna tell you this, I think that mom is puttin' everybody in a trance and she's fuckin' the shit out of 'em.

Once upon a time, there was a girl and the girl had a shadow. The two were connected, tethered together. And the girl ate, her food was given to her warm and tasty. But when the shadow was hungry, he had to eat rabbit raw and bloody. On Christmas, the girl received wonderful toys; soft and cushy. But the shadow's toys were so sharp and cold they sliced through her fingers when she tried to play with them. The girl met a handsome prince and fell in love. But the shadow at that same time had Abraham, it didn't matter if she loved him or not. He was tethered to the girl's prince after all. Then the girl had her first child, a beautiful baby girl. But the shadow, she gave birth to a little monster. Umbrae was born laughing. The girl had a second child, a boy this time. They had to cut her open and take him from her belly. The shadow had to do it all herself. She named him Pluto, he was born to love fire. So you see, the shadow hated the girl so much for so long until one day the shadow realized she was being tested by God.

And to think, if it weren't for you… I never would've danced at all.

How it must have been to grow up with the sky. To feel the sun, the wind, the trees. But your people took it for granted. We're human too, you know. Eyes, teeth, hands, blood. Exactly like you. And yet, it was humans that built this place. I believe they figured out how to make a copy of the body, but not the soul. The soul remains one, shared by two. They created the Tethered so they could use them to control the ones above. Like puppets. But they failed and they abandoned the Tethered. For generations, the Tethered continued without direction. They all went mad down here. And then, there was us. You remember? We were born special. God brought us together that night. I never stop thinking about you. How things could have been. How you could have taken me with you. Years after we met, the miracle happened. That's when I saw God and he showed me my path. You felt it, too. The end of our dance, the Tethered saw that I was different, that I would deliver them from this misery. I found my faith and I begin to prepare. It took years to plan. Everything had to be perfect. I didn't just need to kill you. I needed to make a statement that the whole world would see. It's our time now. Our time up there. And to think, if it weren't for you, I never would have danced at all.