James Kearns

John Quincy Archibald Monologues

I AM NOT GOING TO BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME!

Just try to stay awake for a minute, son, I need to tell you a few things.

You always listen to your mother, understand? Do what she tells you to do. She's your best friend. Tell her you love her every day. You're too young for girls right now but there's gonna come a time, and when it does, you treat them like princesses, because that's what they are. When you say you're gonna do something, you do it. Because your word is your bond, son, that's all you have. And money, you make money if you get a chance. Even if you gotta sell out every once in a while, you make as much money as you can. Don't be stupid like your father - everything is so much easier with money, son. Don't smoke. Be kind to people. If somebody chooses you, you stand up, you be a man. And you stay away from the bad things, son. Please, don't be caught up in the bad things - there are so many great things out there for you. I'll never leave you. I'm always with you, right there.

I love you son.

My son is dying, and I'm broke. If I don't qualify for Medicare, WHO THE HELL DOES?

The hospital is under new management now! Free health care for everyone!

What? Wha- I-I mean-I mean, you guys have been taking money out of my paycheck every week. I've been paying into this policy for years.

You can't be right. I mean, come on. Alright, let me get this straight: You're telling me that you have dropped me from full-time to part-time. You switched carriers. Now you're telling me I'm not fully covered? Even though I got a policy that says I am?

No, it doesn't seem right. I mean, my son is sick. If I'm not covered, I've got a serious problem.

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