Felix Chong

Ok. My people are out there. They're like fuckin' indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more fuckin' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

I'm tired from fuckin' your wife.

Good, she's tired from fuckin' my father.

My theory on Feds is that they're like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts?

Hey asshole, he can't help you! I know what you are, okay? I know what you are and I know what you are not. I'm the best friend you have on the face of this earth, and I'm gonna help you understand something, you punk. You're no fuckin' cop!

Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right?

Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.

Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?

What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play? That guy, Jimmy Bags whose jaw you broke happens to work undercover for the Boston Police Department.

Calm down, alright? Most people in the world do it every day. What's the big deal?

Exactly. You're nobody. You signed the papers, remember? Now we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How about we just erase your file, huh? How 'bout that? How about we erase your file and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies. Huh? What do you say we do that, Captain?

That wasn't a joke. Just because you play a tough guy, doesn't mean you are one you lace-curtain, Irish fucking pussy!

You had 1400 on your SATs, kid. You're an astronaut, not a Statie.

The COPS… are saying he's a cop… so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you… to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him IN the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday, TO GET A FUCKING BLOWJOB!

Don't laugh! This ain't Reality TV!

I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.

One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy.

I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating fuckin' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's fuckin' numbers.

The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?

Heavy lies the crown… sort of thing.

I'm concerned about a Chinaman who thinks it's wise to come to a business transaction with automatic weapons.

For his own good, tell Bruce Lee and the Karate Kids none of us are carrying automatic weapons. Because here - in this country… it don't add inches to your dick. You get a life sentence for it.

What we generally do - in this country... is one guy brings the items and the other guy pays him. No tickee, no laundry!

You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.

No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. You're Uncle Jackie - he also would kill my entire fucking family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.

Did you ever think about going back to school?

When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

I'll get you the records and what not. But listen to me, son. Don't disappoint me on this or some other guy will be putting their fat cock up little Miss Freud's ass.

It makes me curious to see you in this neighborhood. And if I can slander my own environment, it makes me sad. This, uh, regression. Plus, I don't know if it's beyond some fucking cop prick like Queenan to pull you out of the Staties and send you gift-wrapped to me. I just can't know. I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway.

Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam."

Smart, Colin. Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do. And, uh, something maybe happen to them. Maybe, uh, like that.

But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.

Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.

If these chinks wanna nuke Taiwan anytime in this century, they better shape up and show me $1 million dollars! What we generally do - in this country - is one guy brings the items, and the other guy pays him. "No tickee, no laundry"!

The day you wouldn't take a promotion, let me know. And if you'd taken care of this, I wouldn't even be here.

And I'm gonna need the identity of your undercovers.

What Freud said about the Irish is: We're the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis.

If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.

You got a nice suit at home or do you like coming to work everyday dressed like you're goin' to invade Poland?

Look, Frank, if you don't relax, if you don't relax, I can't relax. All right? Now what I need you to do is you get me information on the people who were with you last night. Your crew. Get me Social Security numbers, get me...

All right, all right. Frank, Frank, Frank, I'm sorry, Frank. If you could, please. What I need are SS numbers, DOBs, just all the pedigree information so I can run it on my end and we can ID the prick. If you can just get me that information, what I can do is I can just - I - I - we're gonna handle it. I - I - I can handle it.

I can't wait to see you explain this one to a fucking Suffolk County jury you fucking cocksucker. This is gonna be fucking fun!

Uh, Jimmy had a rough month. Jimmy had a heart attack in jail, and then he got himself knifed at Boston City Hospital. I believe it's been in the papers.

Fuck you, fuckin' queers. Firemen gettin' pussy for the first time in the history of fire or pussy. Hey go save a kitten in a tree, you fucking homos.

Yeah, you got a tail. Two cars, not very subtle. They're not gonna be very subtle from now on. That's what I've been trying to tell you.

I think you better call your mother, and tell her you won't be home for supper.

Look it, fuck-stick, you don't have to trust me. Just listen to what I am saying to you.

Now why would you have to remind me of that? Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank, you gotta trust me. Alright, just trust me Frank. Hey, it fucking involves lying and I'm pretty fucking good at that. Right?

Now Mrs. Kennefick, I knew your son. I knew Miles. Now he was a little younger than me but he was behind me in school. I wanna get these people who did this to him. Would you like to help us? You wanna help us catch the people who forced your son to do a robbery and then killed him?

You sit there with a mass murderer. A mass murderer. Your heart rate is jacked, and your hand… steady. That's one thing I figured out about myself in prison. My hand does not shake… ever.

Look... look, I'm having panic attacks, alright? The other night I thought I was having a fucking heart attack. I puked in a trash barrel on the way over here. I haven't slept for fucking weeks.

Yeah, that's true. Alright? I said it was fucking true. I want some fucking pills and you're gonna what? You're gonna close my file? Is that what you're going to do?

I thought I was supposed to tell the truth here, if only fucking here!

Christ. I mean, a guy comes in here against every, every instinct of privacy and self-reliance he has and what do you do? What do you do, huh? You send him off on the street to score smack, is that what you do? You're fucking ridiculous!

Two pills? Great. Why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my fucking head off! Are we done here with this psychiatry bullshit?

What the fuck did I just put myself through? I'm fucking out of here. And what if that was a legitimate threat? Think about it fucking hotshot!

I'm going fucking nuts, man. I can't be someone else every fuckin' day. It's been a year of this. I've had enough of this shit!

Is there something that you just wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll give you the fuckin' answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the fuckin' rat. Okay? I'm not the fuckin' rat.

You accuse me once, I put up with it. You accuse me twice... I quit. You pressure me to fear for my life and I will put a fucking bullet in your head as if you were anybody else. Okay?

You mean Stephanie, who was the only one who came to my father's funeral? That Stephanie?

Nothing much to it, Uncle Edward.

When you say "the family," who do you mean exactly? You?

Maybe it would have done you some good to have some *questions* from time to time, you know? "Am I an asshole? Are my kids a mess? Is my wife a money-grubbing whore?" I mean, those are questions, right? "Have I ever been good to my dying sister or am I just now pretending to be?"

Frank, how many of these guys have been with you long enough to be disgruntled, huh? Think about it. You don't pay much, you know. It's almost a fuckin' feudal enterprise. The question is, and this is the only question, who thinks that they can do what you do better than you?

I probably could be you, yeah. Yeah, I know that much. But I don't wanna be you, Frank. I don't wanna be you

When are you gonna take Costello, huh?

I mean, what's wrong with taking him on any one of the

million fucking felonies that you've seen him do, or I've seen him do? I mean, I mean, he murdered somebody, right? The guy fucking murders somebody, and you don't fucking take him! What are you waiting for, honestly? I mean, do you want him to chop me up and feed me to the poor? Is that what you guys want?

I'm getting on a plane unless you put Queenan on the phone.

Meet up? Meet - you actually want me dead? Look, there is a RAT in your unit, that is a FACT! Alright? Where's Queenan?

They knew you had cameras in the building! They knew EVERYTHING, alright? There is a leak from the inside! It's real, man, smoke him out!

Let it slip through SIU that you have a sealed wiretap warrant for Costello's apartment. Don't tell ANYONE in our division, but tell SIU. Flush it down the pipe and see if it comes out on my end, alright? That's what we do first, we narrow it down. Where is Queenan?

There is no one more full of shit than a cop except for a cop on TV.

Use their weapons? They signed up to use their weapons most of them but they watch enough TV so they know they have to weep there is no one more full of shit than a cop, except for a cop on TV

You're seventy fucking years old. One of these guys is going to pop you. As for running drugs, what the fuck. You don't need the pain in the ass, and they're going to catch you. And you don't need the money.

This is for you to hold. Only you. You open this if something happens to me, or if I call you and I tell you to open it.

You're the only one I can trust, all right? Please. Look, I'm sorry to even show up here like this, you know? There's just no one else I could give it to.

His lawyer came to me. Imagine that you rat fuck! Costello trusted me more than anyone. Sound quality good enough? Cause I was a little worried.