Efthymis Filippou

One day, as he was playing golf, he thought that it is more difficult to pretend that you do have feelings when you don't than to pretend you don't have feelings when you do.

He didn't burst into tears and he didn't think that the first thing most people do when they realise someone doesn't love them anymore is cry.

We developed a code so that we can communicate with each other even in front of the others without them knowing what we are saying. When we turn our heads to the left it means "I love you more than anything in the world" and when we turn our heads to the right it means "watch out, we're in danger". We had to be very careful in the beginning not to mix up "I love you more than anything in the world" with "watch out, we're in danger". When we raise our left arm it means "I want to dance in your arms", when we make a fist and put it behind our backs it means "let's fuck". The code grew and grew as time went by and within a few weeks we could talk about almost anything without even opening our mouths.

Back then, he didn't know how much it hurts to be alone - how much it hurts when you cannot reach to rub pain ointment on your back and you are constantly in pain.

That night, in my sleep, I dreamt that we lived in a big house together in the city with a large, well-lit kitchen, and I was wearing dark blue trousers and a tight cream blouse and he took my clothes off and fucked me up the ass.

You carefully filet the rabbit with a sharp knife, and cut off its head. You then slice open its belly and stuff it with well washed red and green peppers, not too spicy, and little garlic and mint. You then soak it in lemon juice and leave it a while to marinate the flesh before you skewer it on a stick and roast it over the fire for about an hour. That's my favorite food. Rabbit.

Some punishments are worse than other punishments. Having your thumb cut is worse than having your head shaved. And having a hot boiled egg under your armpit is worse than having your leg kicked. The punishment I am afraid of isn't the Red Kiss but another one, that is called the Red Intercourse. I have never seen it happen, but it's not difficult to imagine what it means.

You know, not long after my dad died, someone told me that I eat spaghetti the exact same way he did. They said what an extraordinary impression this fact had made on them. Look at the boy, look how he eats spaghetti. Exactly the same way his father did. He sticks his fork in. He twirls it around, around, around, around, around. Then he sticks it in his mouth. At that time, I thought I was the only one who ate spaghetti that way. Me and my dad. Later, of course, I found out that everyone eats spaghetti the exact same way. Exact same way, exact same way. This made me very upset. Very upset. Maybe even, um, more upset than when they told me he was dead. My dad.

I don't know if what is happening is fair, but it's the only thing I can think of that's close to justice.

I wanted to say one more thing, I'm really sorry about Bob.

No, it is. They will all get sick and die. Bob will die, Kim will die, your wife will die, understand?

Do you understand? It's metaphorical. My example, it's a metaphor. I mean, it's uh… it's symbolic.

He should have come out of that surgery alive, but he died.

Can I tell you a secret? But don't tell her I told you. I think she... I think she likes you. I mean, she's attracted to you. But she says that's not true, but it is, I'm sure. And, to be honest, I think you're perfect for each other. You'd make a great couple. She's got a great body. You've seen it for yourself. She lost weight and she has a really great figure.

A surgeon never kills a patient. An anaesthesiologist can kill a patient, but a surgeon never can.

This meat is delicious. You were right, after all. The children are much better here. I was even thinking I might take them to the beach house, for a few days. A little fresh air and a change of scenery might do us all good. Do you know what I've been craving? Mashed potato. Why don't you make some tomorrow?

So what do you suggest? Tell me. Oh wait, I know. I've got it. There's a way we can put a stop to all of this. All we need to do is find the tooth of a baby crocodile, the blood of a pigeon and the pubes of a virgin. And then we just have to burn them all before sunset. Let me see, do we have any spare teeth lying around? Teeth, pubes? Nope, none here! LET ME SEE, DO WE HAVE ANY HERE? PUBES, TEETH? Nothing in this box either. Where are they? I'm sure they were here earlier. I put them here myself. WHO'S BEEN MOVING THINGS AROUND? FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! I don't suppose you have any pubes I could have, by any chance? Oh, I forgot. You don't have any left. We don't have any of the things we need.

Do you think your mother is proud of you? Do you think she is happy that her beloved son is a murderer?

If you don't stop playing games, I will shave your head and make you eat your hair. I mean it. I will make you eat your hair.

Your mother is very beautiful, but the idea that she and I could ever be together is ludicrous. Let me remind you, I'm a married man. And I love my wife very much and my kids, and that we are very happy together.