David Twohy

What's the first thing you do when you step onto a plane? Maybe you have a sip of that fine champagne? You do fly in first class, right?

Well, when I board a plane, making my way back to the cheap seats, I clock every door. I pace off the distance between those exits and my seat. That plane loses power on takeoff, I can make egress in the dark, totally blind. If the aisle crowds up, I'm going to climb over the back on 36D, guy with that shiny-ass toupee, make the over the wing exit. And I know the handle swings down not up. And I know the door swings in not out. And I know all that inside of 30 seconds, before they even pop the cork for you up there in Hollywood class. See, if you wait till the emergency happens before you decide what to do, you're already dead.

Officially, I'm only allowed to say that I've been a sworn officer participating in a phase of certain missions that would make most men want to crawl up and hide inside their own assholes.

I'm a goddamn American Jedi. Possible title number one, by the way.

Hey, see this? Took a frag from a Bouncing Betty. It's an antipersonnel mine. Caved in the back of my fucking head. Medevaced out to Germany. Got my skull rebuilt with space-age titanium. Can't go through a metal detector without ringing cherries, but that's cool. Let's me travel with Gilligan just about wherever I want.

My little buddy

Here's the kicker, though. When I took that shrapnel, I never felt it. I mean, I felt the impact and I felt my backside go all wet, but no real pain. Now, maybe I don't recall the events in full. They did scoop out a little gray Spam back there, but get this. My wolf pack? They will swear that I was ambulatory for more than 17 minutes before they forced me to lie down. Tackled me. Even then I was looking to monkey-fuck a Marlboro Light. There's no nerve endings in the brain Cliff. Remember that when you write the scene.

Keep shaking that bush Luke, so we know where you are… keep shakin' that bush!

Those boys are comin' in heavy, you might want to hang back and let 'em do their thing.

Sometimes it seems like… like nothing exists until we get there, until we put our eyes on it. Like the whole fucking world was manufactured for our wants and needs, ya know?

I mean like if I take, if I just turn my head... ya know. For just a minute and... but don't tell me, but does everything just stop? Just shut down... go in to some energy saving hibernation mode, till I choose to reactivate them by simply...

How many times do I need to tell you? If there's anyone in this world that I could love, it's you. Why is that never enough?

Look... you helped create this fevered dream of immortality. You are the privileged witness who's gonna help me lead a hundred different lives. It's you.

I'm not lying now… I love the idea of loving you.

This is my wife's friend, she has little issue with um… crystal meth, okay? Normally she's pretty functional, but obviously… this ain't normal.

She's dosed right out of her mind right now… I mean it's been. Look! Look, look, look, look, come here.

Look at this… I'm finding these the whole trip. I think she just got in over her head this time. So, I hope you don't have to involve the… police or anything like that. I mean, I promise I'll get her back safe… okay?

Nothing bad ever happens in Hawaii, right?

Remember, nothing exists until we get there!

We're not really hunting goats here, are we?

All right, listen up, ladies and gentlemen, our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injuries, is 4 miles per hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him.

Newman, what are you doing?

Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, while you're thinking.

Oh! Wow, gee whiz, looky here! You know, we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in them. Who held the keys, sir?

Newman, we're gonna send you a bunch of cops, make sure they turn that place inside out.

And don't let them give you any shit about your pony tail.

Well, why don't you say strange or weird? I mean hinky, that has no meaning.

I don't want you guys using words around me that have no meaning. I'm taking the stairs and walking.

Dr. Richard Kimble! There's no way out of here, Richard! The entire building is locked down! Give it up Richard, you don't have any time, Chicago police department thinks you're a cop killer, they WILL shoot you on sight!

Richard, I know you're innocent! I know about Frederick Sykes! I know about Dr. Charles Nichols! Richard, he borrowed your car the night of your wife's murder, he had your keys! No forced entry, Richard! He telephoned Sykes from your car, Richard! Richard, give it up! Richard, I'm either lying or I'm gonna shoot you, what do you think?

Give it up, Richard, it's time to stop running!

Then you can explain the difference in the sound of an elevated train as opposed to a train that's running along the ground. You must have ears like a eagle, play that back, I wanna hear the sound of an elevated train.

Doctor Nichols, you really want to help him? You really want to be his friend? Then you'll help us bring him in, unharmed.

Yeah, we're smart. We are. I mean, how smart could he be, really? Is he as smart as you are?

All right, I want to start right there. We're going start with phone taps. I want to start with his lawyer first.

You call Judge Reuben and tell him I want a whole bunch of phone taps…

And I'll call him later and tell him on who…

IF, I'm in a good mood.

Sheriff Rawlins, with all due respect, I'd like to suggest check points on a 15 mile radius out here on I-57, I-24 and on route 13 out of Chester...

Well, shit, sheriff, I'd hate to see that happen, so I guess I'll just take over your investigation.

Governor of the state of Illinois, United States Marshals Office, 5th District Northern Illinois.

So he showed up not dead yet. Let that be a lesson to you, boys and girls. Don't ever argue with the big dog, because the big dog is always right.

Look on your maps if you wanna know how to get there!

Well, Sir, Mr. Copeland was a bad man. He was gonna shoot one of my kids.

Well, sir, you can blame me, I'm the one that shot him.