David Mamet

This is NOTHING.

It's all, you know, thinking ahead thinking ahead.

Yea, it's like a plumber: do your job right and nobody should notice. But when you fuck it up, everything gets full of shit.

Look at that! That is a complete fucking fraud, and it looks a hundred percent real. It's the best work I've ever done in my life, because it's so honest.

The war isn't over 'til I say it's over. This is my picture - this is NOT the CIA's picture. You think you're in a tight spot now? Alright, Conrad, try making The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse - tell 'im, King.

Hear what he's saying? Three of the horseman DIED. Two weeks before the end of principal photography. This is NOTHING. This is nothing, this is - this is - this is just, "Act One, The War". Now we really do need an Act Two.

Big mistake, big mistake. You gotta bring them in by stages. Big mistake to reveal Schumann before the election.

Sweetheart, Schumann is the shark. Okay? Schumann is Jaws, you know? You have to tease them. You gotta tease them. You don't put Jaws in the first reel of the movie. It's the contract, sweetheart. The contract of the election, whether they know it or not, is "Vote for me Tuesday, Wednesday I'll produce Schumann." See, that's what they're paying their seven bucks for.

Fuck the world. Try a ten a.m. script meeting, coked to the gills, no sleep and you haven't even read the treatment.

This is nothing! Piece of cake! Producing is being a samurai warrior. They pay you day in, day out for years so that one day when called upon, you can respond, your training at its peak, and save the day!

You take the fruit of forty years - hard lessons, mistakes - and you call it wisdom.

When it's cooking, it's cooking.

This is politics at its finest.

Haven't had this much fun since live TV!

You know, Connie? I felt very much at home in there. Simple quirk of fate. I could have gone this way. It's all a change in wardrobe.

You know, you can't save the world. All you can do is try.

They're war slogans, Mr. Motss. We remember the slogans, we can't even remember the fucking wars. You know why? That's show business. That's why we're here. Naked girl covered in Napalm. 'V for Victory'. Five Marines raising the flag, Mt. Suribachi. You remember the picture 50 years from now, you'll have forgotten the war. The Gulf War, smart bomb falling down a chimney. 2500 missions a day, 100 days. ONE video of ONE bomb Mr. Motts, the American people bought that war. War is show business - that's why we're here.

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

You watched the Gulf War, what do you see day after day? The one smart bomb falling down the chimney. The truth? I was in the building when we shot that shot - we shot in a studio, Falls Church, Virginia. One-tenth scale model of a building.

Well, I have, too. Would you do it again…? Isn't that why you're here? I guess so. And if you go to war again, who is it going to be against? Your "ability to fight a Two-ocean War" against who? Sweden and Togo? Who you sitting here to Go To War Against? That time has passed. It's passed. It's over. The war of the future is nuclear terrorism. It is and it will be against a small group of dissidents who, unbeknownst, perhaps, to their own governments, have blah blah blah. And to go to that war, you've got to be prepared. You have to be alert, and the public has to be alert. Cause that is the war of the future, and if you're not gearing up, to fight that war, eventually the axe will fall. And you're gonna be out in the street. And you can call this a "drill," or you can call it "job security," or you can call it anything you like. But I got one for you: you said, "Go to war to protect your Way of Life," well, Chuck, this is your way of life. Isn't it? And if there ain't no war, then you, my friend, can go home and prematurely take up golf. Because there ain't no war but ours.

They could come to your house in the middle of the night and kill you.

What difference does it make if it's true? If it's a story and it breaks, they're gonna run with it.

Well, if Kissinger can win the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find out I'd won the Preakness.

We're not gonna have a war, we're gonna have the appearance of a war.

Now folks, folks, this is a shitty business and it needs no ghosts come from the grave to tell us that but Lord willing and Jesus tarries eight days from now I'm going to be taking you folks into the second term. Wait 'til you hear the speech tonight, the 303 speech - great!

I'm doing my job too and let me ask you something. Let me ask you a simple question. Why do people go to war? Why do they go to war?

You know what Joan, if you didn't have a pussy there'd be a bounty on your head. You know that?

Yeah. Yeah, right. So you want to dance or what?

Interesting broad. Where'd she develop her personality? A car crash?

I'm gonna let you guys do what you guys gotta do. Don't worry about me, I'm just gonna go home, make a little macaroni and cheese, seal the windows, and turn on the gas.

You've got a lot of brass balls, you know that. I do all the work, you take all the credit. You know what your problem is? Your face.

Come on, wise up, man, you're too good-looking. These girls go out with you and get nervous, man. They feel dumpy. They don't want to compete. They want a guy like - like me. You know, a guy that's gonna make *them* look good.

Right! The swarthy type. A man's man. The kind of guy who oozes testosterone.

Are you getting serious? Well, she seemed like a hell of a girl. From what little I saw of her. Not too this. Not too that. Very kind of, um, what?... Ah, what the fuck, I only saw her for a minute. First impressions of this kind can often be misleading. Does she give head?

You don't go here. You don't go there. You're about as much fun as a stick.

he best thing that could happen to you Danny, is an industrial accident.

This Carmen's a sure thing. She's hot, hot, hot. She'll grab your joint on the dance floor.

Come on. Come dancing. We'll go to my place, have a party. Play "Spin the Pickle". Come on.

You know, I've been wantin' to do this my whole life. I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks, Mother.

You know, everyone said you were dead. They said, "Dan is dead." But, I said, "No, no, no. He was my best friend. He would've called me for the funeral."

I mean, what the fuck. If a guy wants to get on with a broad on a more or less stable basis, who's to say to him no? Huh? A lot of these broads, you know, you just don't know, you know. I mean, a young woman in today's society, by the time she's 22-23, you don't know where the fuck she's been. Hey, that''s your business, right?

You know, so much of the time we're just lost. We say, "Please, God, tell us what is right; tell us what is true." And there is no justice: the rich win, the poor are powerless. We become tired of hearing people lie. And after a time, we become dead… a little dead. We think of ourselves as victims… and we become victims. We become… we become weak. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our beliefs. We doubt our institutions. And we doubt the law. But today you are the law. You ARE the law. Not some book… not the lawyers… not the, a marble statue… or the trappings of the court. See those are just symbols of our desire to be just. They are… they are, in fact, a prayer: a fervent and a frightened prayer. In my religion, they say, "Act as if ye had faith… and faith will be given to you." IF… if we are to have faith in justice, we need only to believe in ourselves. And ACT with justice. See, I believe there is justice in our hearts.

That that poor girl put her trust into the... into the hands of two men who took her life. She's in a coma. Her life is gone. She has no home, no family. She's tied to a machine. She has no friends. And the people who should care for her - her doctors... and you and me - have been bought off to look the other way. We've been paid to look the other way. I came here to take your money. I brought snapshots to show you so I could get your money. I can't do it; I can't take it. 'Cause if I take the money I'm lost. I'll just be a... rich ambulance chaser. I can't do it. I can't take it.

So Pat says, he says, "They got this new bar… and you go inside and for half a buck you get a beer, a free lunch and they take you in the back room - they get you laid… Mike says, "Now wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Do you mean to say there's a new bar and you go inside and for a half a buck they give you a beer, a free lunch and they take you in the back room and they get you laid?" Pat says, "That's right." "Have you ever been in the bar?" And he says, "No, but me sister has."

You couldn't hack it as a lawyer. You were a bag man for the boys downtown and you still are, I know about you.

I'm an attorney on trial before the bar. Representing my client. MY client, do you understand? You open your mouth and you're losing my case for me.

No, no, you listen to me. All I wanted in this case is an even shake. You rushed me into court in five days… my star witness disappears, I can't get a continuance, and I don't give a damn. I'm going up there and I'm going to try it. Let the jury decide. They told me Sweeney he's a hard-ass, he's a defendant's judge. I don't care. I said, the hell with it. The hell with it. I'll take my chances he'll be fair.

And don't give me this shit, 'I was a lawyer, too.' 'Cause I know who you were. You couldn't hack it as a lawyer. You were Bag Man for the Boys and you still are. I know who you are.

Damn right I'm done. I'm going to ask for a mistrial. I'm going to request that you disqualify yourself from sitting on this case. I'm going to take a transcript to the State and ask that they impeach your ass!

The court doesn't exist to give them justice? The court exist to give them a *chance* at justice.

It's just a shame that happened to your husband, Mrs. Dee. I knew him vaguely at the Lodge. He was a wonderful man. It was a crime what happened to him. It was just a crime. If I can help - in any way.

The weak. The weak have got to have somebody to fight for them. Ain't that the truth? You want another drink?

You see, the jury wants to believe. I mean, the jury wants to believe. It is something to see. I got to go down there tomorrow and pick out twelve 'em. All of 'em, all of their lives, saying, "It's a sham. It's rigged. You can't fight City Hall." But, when they step into that jury box, I mean, you can just barely see it in their eyes, "Maybe. Maybe."

I want you to get this fuck where he breathes! I want you to find this nancy-boy Eliot Ness, I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES!

S'alright. I grew up in a tough neighborhood and we used to say "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word."

A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins.

I'm gonna tell you something. Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with with him. Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say you stole. Not talk to him for spitting on the sidewalk. Understand? Now, I have done nothing to harm these people but they are angered with me, so what do they do, doctor up some income tax, for which they have no case. To speak to me like me, no, to harass a peaceful man. I pray to god if I ever had a grievance I'd have a little more self respect. One more thing, you have an all out prize fight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. And that's how you know who won.

Well, I'll tell ya, you know, it's touching. Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because it's funny and we laugh because it's true. Now, some people will say - reformers, they'll say, 'Put that man in jail! What does he think he is doing?' Well, what I hope I'm doing, and here's where your English paper's got a point, is - I'm responding to the will of the people.

People are gonna drink! You know that, I know that, we all know that, and all I do is act on that. And all this talk of bootlegging - what is bootlegging? On a boat, it's bootlegging. On Lake Shore Drive, it's hospitality. I'm a businessman!

When you got an all-out prizefight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. 'N' that's how you know who won.

Yes! There is violence in Chicago. But not by me, and not by anybody who works for me, and I'll tell you why because it's bad for business.