Buck Henry
Suzanne Stone Monologues
You know Mr. Gorbachev, the guy that ran Russia for so long? I am a firm believer that he would still be in power today if he had had that ugly purple thing taken off his head.
You're not anybody in America unless you're on TV. On TV is where we learn about who we really are. Because what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if nobody's watching? And if people are watching, it makes you a better person.
You aren't really anybody in America if you're not on TV.
It's their word against mine. Who are they? Bunch of 16-year-old losers who grew up in trailers whose parents sit around drinking and screwing their cousins!
I'm a professional person, for Christ's sake. I come from a good home. Who do you think a jury would believe?
I think if you wanted a babysitter, you should marry Mary Poppins.
Well, you grow up, you know? You think it's all gonna be like a fairytale. Like you're Sleeping Beauty, and along comes this Prince Charming, and he looks at you, and it's night time, and he smiles at you and kisses you.
And then… then you wake up… and it's daylight… and you look at him. It's just when you work all day, trying to perfect yourself and create something meaningful, you expect some support. Does anyone ever say "Did you have a good shoot today?" or "How's the editing going?" or anything of that nature?
No. I mean, the point is... Larry is a nice guy, you know? But he just doesn't know a thing about television.
It's nice to live in a country where life, liberty... and all the rest of it still stand for something.
Hi. My name is Suzanne Maretto. No, wait. I'm sorry. Suzanne Maretto is my married name. My own name… is Suzanne Stone. That's my professional name. Suzanne Stone. It's not like I have any negative feelings about the name Maretto. Maretto is the name, after all… of my husband… who I loved… very, very much.
Sorry. It's also the name of his parents, Joe and Angela Maretto... and of his lovely and talented sister, Janice Maretto... who have been like a second family to me... and who I regard as I do my own family... particularly since my recent tragedy. I knew just through knowing and being related to them. They have given me what I think is a very precious and valuable insight... into the different kinds of ethnic relationships... that are part of the very things that I've been trying to explore... as a member of the professional media.