Barry Gifford

This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top.

Uh oh. Baby, you'd better get me back to that hotel. You got me hotter than Georgia asphalt.

You remind me of my daddy, you know. Mama told me he liked skinny women with breasts that stood up and said "Hello".

Sometimes, Sail', when we're makin' love, you just about take me right over that rainbow. You are so aware of what goes on in me, I mean, you pay attention. And I swear, baby, you got the sweetest cock. It's like it's talking to me when you're inside. Like it's got this little voice all it's own.

I can't take no more of this radio! I never heard so much shit in all my life! Sailor Ripley, you get me some music on that radio this instant! I mean it!

I'm sorry, Sailor, but that ozone layer' s disappearin'. One of these mornings, the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like an electrical X-ray.

Dell said that trust in the spirit of Christmas was destroyed by ideas being controlled by aliens wearing black gloves. These aliens would get Dell to do all kinds of things. Then he'd carry on about the weather, talk about how rainfall is controlled by aliens on earth. Aunt Rootie told Dell that one day he would realize that the alien wearing the black gloves was him, and him alone.

It's Night of the Livin' fuckin' Dead!

Dell loved Christmas. We used to call him "Jingle Dell".

Don't tailgate! Don't you fucking ever tailgate! Do you know how much space is needed to stop a car traveling at 35 miles per hour? Six car lengths! Six fuckin' car lengths! That's a hundred and six fuckin' feet, mister! If I had to stop suddenly, you woulda hit me! I want you to get a fuckin' driver's manual, and I want you to study that motherfucker! And I want you to obey the the goddamn rules of the road! Fifty-fuckin' thousand people were killed on the highways last year 'cause of fuckin' assholes like you! Tell me you're gonna get a manual!

I'm really glad to know you're doing okay. You're sure you're okay? Everything alright?

I'm really glad to know you're doin good, Pete. Hey, I want you to talk to a friend of mine.

This is where mechanical excellence and one-thousand four-hundred horsepower pays off.

You and me, mister… We can really out-ugly them sum'bitches… Can't we?

Boy, that's smooth. Smooth as shit off a duck's ass!

I'm sure you noticed that girl that was with me the other day, good lookin' blonde? She stayed in the car? Her name is Alice. I swear I love that girl to death. If I ever find out that somebody was making out with her, I'd take this…

...and shove it so far up his ass it would come out of his mouth. Then you know what I'd do?

I'd blow his fuckin' brains out.

Hey, you're looking good. What you been up to?

What do you guys want?

You and me, mister… we can really out-ugly them sonafabitches. Can't we?