Alan Judd

Is something wrong?

Of course you do. You're the secret agent. Marvelous.

I'm ashamed to say that before and after my first marriage I, myself, fathered at least two illegitimate children: one with an Austrian countess, another with a French prostitute who was known in court circles as Madame L'Amour. Both of them, incidentally, blackmailed me for huge sums of money, the Countess and the prostitute. I expected better of the prostitute.

What do you think of the ducks, child? I'm very fond of them. They are beautiful creatures, and yet they ask for so little. A duck will never blame you for his troubles, or force you to abdicate your throne.

You're right. And it was.

Am I to blame for every misfortune on this earth? I gave my life to the Fatherland, and this is my thanks? Nobody cares my navy betrayed me! Nobody remembers my army fell apart! Ludendorff, Bethmann, Tirpitz, where were they? Where were they? Where were they? After all I'd done for them, they stabbed me in the back! They lost me the war. They lost me my country.

These books they're writing! My God! They just dump bucketloads of filth on my head and nobody does anything! Bismarck would have had something to say on the subject. But then he had something to say on every subject, which is why I got rid of him.