Alan Bennett
George III Monologues
What is this? America, I suppose.
Oh, America's not to be spoken of, is that it?
Peace of mind! I have no peace of mind. I've had no peace of mind since we lost America. Forests, old as the world itself… meadows… plains… strange delicate flowers… immense solitudes… and all nature new to art… all ours… Mine. Gone. A paradise… lost.
Is it any wonder a man goes mad? Doctors! 30 guineas a visit and travelling expenses, for six months of torture. They would have a man pay for his own execution, what, what?
Do I? Yes, I do. I've always been myself, even when I was ill. Only now I seem myself. And that's the important thing. I have remembered how to seem. What, what.
When felons were induced to talk, they were shown first the instruments of their torture. The King is shown the instrument of His… to induce Him NOT to talk…
Yes! Yes. Phillips. That's the father, this is the son. And the daughter married the organist at Norwich Cathedral. Sharpe. Yes, and their son is the painter. And the other son is a master at Eton. And he married somebody's niece.
Whereas we, George III, in this year of our Lord 1788, do open this Parliament, giving notice that our will and pleasure is that the following bills shall be laid before this House. A bill for the regulation of trade with our possessions in North America...
Our *former* possessions in North America...
That's Lady Pembroke. Handsome woman, what? Daughter of the Duke of Marlborough. Stuff of Generals. Blood of Blenheim. Husband's an utter rascal. Eloped in a packet-boat.
If everybody who is having a baby wants to sit, the next thing will be everybody with gout! Before long, the place will look like a Turkish harem, what, what?
I don't know. I don't know. Madness isn't such a torment. Madness isn't half blind. Madmen can stand. They skip. They dance. And talk. And talk and talk and talk. I hear the words, I have to speak them. I have to - empty my head of the words. Something has happened. Something is not right.
Her Ladyship is game for anything. I just have to say the word! Skirts up! Legs in the air.
