Abby Kohn

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe… it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

But when I was hurling my body onto yours, you did not seem to want to make it happen.

Look, I just went out with your friend Bill. He might be just exactly what I need. No drama, he calls; he does what he says…

But you didn't! And that same wise person told me that I'm the rule. That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change, that I have to stop thinking that...

A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.

We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.

I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.

I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love?

No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because they rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much.

Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule.

Hey Conor, It's GiGi, I just thought that I hadn't heard from you, and I mean how stupid is it taht a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right? Cause we're all equal right? more than equal. more women are accepted into law school now then men. Call me, oh this is GiGi, call me.

That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.

Let me tell you something, I don't care about being your stupid prom queen. I'm 25 years old. I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago Sun Times and I've been beating my brains out trying to impress you people. Let me tell you something Gibby, Kirsten, Kristin, you will spend your lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important. Why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is unbelievable. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friend after my brother, Rob, posed as a student and told you to like me. All of you people, there is a big world out there... bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won't matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.

You know, Adelie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together.

Somebody once said, "To write well, you have to write what you know." Well, here is what I know…

The right guy, he's out there. I'm just not gonna go kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him.

Rob, your not going to believe it, I made friends with a whole table of rastafari. Not just one, a whole table… You know what's a weird word? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie! I don't know how that happened!

How do you look at the woman you love, and tell yourself that its time to walk away?

I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.

Life's all about moments, of impact and how they changes our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?

It's not fair? I see the way you look at him. I know, because you used to look at me that way.

The moment of impact. The moment of impact proves potential for change. Has ripples effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before. While sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you've never thought you've found them. That's the thing about moments like these. You can't, no matter how hard you try, controlling how it's gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding part goes where they may. And wait. For the next collision.

If we were meant to be together, we would be together.

I need to make my wife fall in love with me again.

How do you look at the person you love and tell yourself it's time to walk away.

I've been driving myself insane, making a complete ass of my self.

Literally trying everything possible to save what we have.

Yeah, most chaps throw them away. I like the idea that tomorrow somebody's going to see them floating by, wonder where they come from, behind the mystery of it all. I used to, actually, put them together and practice new designs with them and drop them off at a random doorstep with notes in it: "Somebody out there loves you". And they get to thinking, "What if they found out that somebody me? Would they want me to be the one that loves them?"

When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. But there's one thing that he said that was pure genius… he said, if you're ever with a girl that's too good for you, marry her.

Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.

You don't keep inklings to yourself! You share them! You're like hey guy, I got an inkling you're headed for a fall here! That's what friends do, that's common knowledge, it's in the damn handbook!

That's what I'm doing here. Because apparently everyone and their mother felt that way but nobody had the guts to tell me. And now, I'm left with some stupid ring and an empty closet and an ache in my gut the size of Texas because nobody told me.

Your parents, wait, hold on, wait a second, just because your parents had a bad divorce doesn't mean that you're going to have a bad divorce. They're not hereditary, it's not like it's contagious.