Vivian Ward

When I was a little girl… my momma used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often… and I would… I would pretend I was a princess trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. Then suddenly, a knight on a white horse with colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword… and I would wave… and he would climb up the tower, and rescue me. (pause) But never… in all the times that I had this dream did the knight say to me, 'Come on baby, I'll put you up in a great condo.

Did I mention, my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe. So basically we are talking about 88 inches of therapy wrapped around you for the bargain price of three thousand dollars.

I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.

I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions... the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?