Tony Montana

Tony Montana Monologues

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So… what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me, you fuckin' with the best!

I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and had my friend Angel Fernandez killed. But that's history. I'm here, he's not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don't, then you make a move.

You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked!

The only thing in this world that gives orders... is balls.

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

Is this it? That's what it's all about, Manny? Eating, drinking, fucking, sucking? Snorting? Then what? You're 50. You got a bag for a belly. You got tits, you need a bra. They got hair on them. You got a liver, they got spots on it, and you're eating this fuckin' shit, looking like these rich fucking mummies in here... Look at that. A junkie. I got a fuckin' junkie for a wife. She don't eat nothing. Sleeps all day with them black shades on. Wakes up with a Quaalude, and who won't fuck me 'cause she's in a coma. I can't even have a kid with her, Manny. Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fuckin' little baby with her!

Okay Sosa; You wanna fuck with me? You fucking with the best! You wanna fuck with me? Okay. You little cockroaches... come on. You wanna play games? Okay, I play with you; come on. Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

Hey, baby, what is your problem? Huh, you got a problem? You're good looking, you got a beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face, all these guys in love with you. Only you got a look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year!

You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.

Your guy Alberto... you know he's a piece of shit, you know? I told him to do something, he didn't listen to me, so I had to cancel the fucking contract.

It's those guys, Manny. It's the fucking bankers, the politicians, they're the ones that want to make coke illegal! So, they can make the fucking money and they get the fucking votes, they're fighting the bad guys, they're the bad guys! They fuck anything and anyone. Fuck, fucking bankers!

You a communist? Huh? How'd you like it, man? They tell you all the time what to do, what to think, what to feel. Do you wanna be like a sheep? Like all those other people? Baah! Baah!

You wanna work eight, ten fucking hours? You own nothing, you got nothing! Do you want a chivato on every corner looking after you? Watching everything you do? Everything you say, man? Do you know I eat octopus three times a day? I got fucking octopus coming out of my fucking ears. I got the fuckin' Russian shoes my feet's comin' through. How you like that? What, you want me to stay there and do nothing? Hey, I'm no fuckin' criminal, man. I'm no puta or thief. I'm Tony Montana, a political prisoner from Cuba. And I want my fuckin' human rights, now!

Okay, here's the story. I come from the gutter. I know that. I got no education... but that's okay. I know the street, and I'm making all the right connections. With the right woman, there's no stopping me. I could go right to the top.

I didn't come to the United States to break my fucking back.

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