Lieutenant Danny Roman

Lieutenant Danny Roman Monologues

When your friends betray you, sometimes the only people you can trust are strangers.

A quick lesson in lying. See, this is what us real cops do: We study liars. Example: If I ask you a question about something visual, like your favorite color, your eyes go up and to the left. Neurophysiology tells us your eyes go in that direction, because you're accessing the visual cortex. So you're telling the truth. If your eyes go up and right, you're accessing the brain's creative centers and we know you're full of shit.

Crazy is on the bus.

I'm still alive, motherfucker!

Now leave your badge, guns, cuffs everything on the table

That wasn't an accident and neither will the next one that goes in your head, now get out!

You were wrong about me. What if I'm right about them?

You want my blood? Take my blood!

Omar... A Marine and a sailor are taking a piss... The Marine goes to leave without washing up... The sailor says, "In the Navy... they teach us to wash our hands... The Marines turn to him and says...

I like westerns, like Shane.

What are you talking about? He doesn't die. He rides off into the sunset, and that kid says "Come back, Shane!"

So he was slumped, slumped don't mean dead.

There's the right man's best friend and the wrong man's worst enemy.

Yeah, I like animals better than people sometimes... Especially dogs. Dogs are the best. Every time you come home, they act like they haven't seen you in a year. And the good thing about dogs... is they got different dogs for different people. Like pit bulls. The dog of dogs. Pit bull can be the right man's best friend... or the wrong man's worst enemy. You going to give me a dog for a pet, give me a pit bull. Give me... Raoul. Right, Omar? Give me Raoul.

Hates Raoul. Farley fucked up the list.

Yeah... I can dig it, Omar. I had a dog like that... a poodle. She didn't bark, though... She pissed on the floor. I hated that dog. But if I was ever depressed... she'd lay her head in my lap, look up at me with those big old eyes. And even though I thought I hated that dog... I loved her. It's like that, ain't it? That love-hate thing.

Omar, I'm doing the best I can here, man.

Omar... A Marine and a sailor are taking a piss... The Marine goes to leave without washing up... The sailor says, "In the Navy... they teach us to wash our hands..." The Marine turns to him and says...

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