Jimmy Hoffa

Jimmy Hoffa Monologues

You always charge a guy with a gun! With a knife, you run away.

If I said it once, I said it a thousand times, I don't care they're Irish. I don't care they're Catholic. If there's one person you can't trust in this life, it's millionaires' kids.

You don't keep a man waiting. The only time you do is when you want to say something. When you want to say fuck you.

I am sitting in a room... full of fuckin' idiots. You dumb motherfuckers! You know what you did? You take Johnny O'Rourke's kid and you put him on as general organizer, pay thirty-six fucking grand, at the same time... you let him sell insurance to his fucking father's...

To his fucking father's... to his fucking father's... LOCALS!

Damn it! How do you do that? How STUPID can you be? That fucking cocksucker Kennedy has got his nose up my ass everywhere I go! You don't know that they're hounding me? They're looking at everything I do, and you let this happen in public! You're giving it to him!

I'm going to jail. You understand? I'm going to prison... because of you. You dumb motherfuckers. This is what you wanted. You wanted to put me in jail. Tell me now so I can kill you... right here.

In a war, you go from point A to point B. Sometimes, you spill a little beer along the way. That philosophy make sense to you?

Uh... off hand, that particular amount of money I borrowed... I don't know at this particular moment. But the record of my loans, which I requested, I have, and out of all the moneys I loaned during this period of time I went into these ventures.

So What? That's what you want from a Number Two. You don't want somebody too smart. You want a nice guy. People like him, you know. Not dumb, but somebody you know you can have walking behind you without getting knifed.

Sat there every day with that whining cocksucker, from New Jersey, talking about his woes, his problems. And all I wanted to do was finish my ice cream in peace. This cocksucker shows up at a meeting fifteen minutes late. Wearing fucking shorts! Who wears shorts to a meeting?

Chuck. Listen to me. Never put a fish in your car. You never get the smell out. Unless you pack it tight. Remember that. It'll help you in life.

We have more monologues for You!