Dignam

Dignam Monologues

Ok. My people are out there. They're like fuckin' indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more fuckin' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

I'm tired from fuckin' your wife.

Good, she's tired from fuckin' my father.

My theory on Feds is that they're like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts?

Hey asshole, he can't help you! I know what you are, okay? I know what you are and I know what you are not. I'm the best friend you have on the face of this earth, and I'm gonna help you understand something, you punk. You're no fuckin' cop!

Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right?

Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.

Well, if I was I'd ask you why you're a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?

What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

Hey, what do you think you can pop somebody and there's a special card to play? That guy, Jimmy Bags whose jaw you broke happens to work undercover for the Boston Police Department.

Calm down, alright? Most people in the world do it every day. What's the big deal?

Exactly. You're nobody. You signed the papers, remember? Now we're the only two people on the face of this earth that even know you're a cop. How about we just erase your file, huh? How 'bout that? How about we erase your file and then bang, you're just another soldier for Costello open to arrest for I don't know how many felonies. Huh? What do you say we do that, Captain?

That wasn't a joke. Just because you play a tough guy, doesn't mean you are one you lace-curtain, Irish fucking pussy!

You had 1400 on your SATs, kid. You're an astronaut, not a Statie.

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