Bowfinger

Did you know Tom Cruise had no idea he was in that vampire movie till two years later?

That's after gross net deduction profit percentage deferment ten percent of the nut. Cash, every movie cost $2,184.

You know what? I don't know anything about blackmail… 'cause I'm just a guy, a guy with a great film in the can. All I really need is a shot of Kit saying, "Gotcha, suckas" and a couple of close-ups. Or we've to tag our film with a shot of Kit wagging his thing at the Laker Girls. Which is a great ending. I mean, who wouldn't wanna see that? Although technically, it's not such a good ending for Kit… because it could sort of stop his money flow… and possibly make that family film he's about to do, just pff-ff!

Think of this as an errand. Your errand is to run across the freeway until I yell, "Cut!"

And why is this going to work? Because Afrim here is a damn fine screenwriter, as well as accountant and part time receptionist. I said to Afrim "If you can write half as well as you can add-" Well I didn't even have to finish my sentence. Twelve days later he hands me this, this masterpiece. Afrim, tell them what it's called.

Let's try it one more time, uh, Slater, this time *without* the erection.

This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.

We need a guy with a fabulous ass! And mine is the wrong color!

I'm 49 years old. Admittedly, I could get away with 44, 41, maybe 38. But when you hit 50 they don't hire you anymore. It's like they can smell 50.

See that FedEx truck? Every day it delivers important papers to people all over the world. And one day, it is going to stop here, and a man is going to walk up and casually toss a couple of FedExes on my desk. And at that moment, we - and by we, I mean me - will be important.

I mean, at the end of this movie. When our hero, Keith Kincade, looks up at the alien anteanae and says "Gotcha suckas!"... I mean, that is a moment.

Today, I have a very important meeting with Jerry Renfro. If it goes the way I think its going to go, I will see you - at the Oscars.

That's right. So, so give her a little room, react normally, be sensitive above all; because, in this scene, Daisy's going to take off her blouse.