Your Highness Monologues

When Prince Fabious's bride is kidnapped, he goes on a quest to rescue her... accompanied by his lazy useless brother Thadeous.

Stephen, I'm going to put you in the corner *now* while I strum my filthies.

My path has been unstable, but my conviction is born to damn the fuckers who doubted me. To lessen the assholes who tested me. To right what is wrong, to restore faith that has long been lost, and to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend as a Great Cocksmith, Master Pintsman, and stunningly handsome Prince of Light in these dark Dark Ages!

Only a champion man would hold the Blade of Unicorn in his hands. And I, Thadeous, am that man. I have seen the pain in my reflection and watched the strength of my brother, unflinching. My quest is one of love, but also in this moment of forgiveness, of redemption, even amongst the smallest of foes. My path has been unstable, but my conviction is born to damn those who doubted me. To lessen those who tested me. To right what is wrong. To restore faith that has long been lost. And to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend in these dark, Dark Ages. True trials await, and I will greet thee with the hammer of my fist and the slide of my sword. As the fog clears, I will follow the voice that guides me: My love, my heart, my Gods!

What right do you have scaring a man like that?

I'm simply keeping an eye on her. She is not like one of our dimwitted chamber maids that let me take them from behind. This one has me vexed. What exactly would it take for one to tame such an adventurous slut?

Oh, God! She's looking at us! Remain perfectly still.

They only say that stuff because of you, because you go out and have to pretend to be the best, and they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot. Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick, no one wants to suck mine!