Warm Bodies Monologues

After a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.

What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people? Oh, right, it's because I'm dead. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl is dead. That guy is dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. Jesus these guys look awful.

This is my best friend. By best friend, I mean we occasionally grunt and stare awkwardly at each other. We even have almost conversations sometimes.

There's a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend's brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but...

They call these guys Bonies. They don't bother us much, but they'll eat anything with a heartbeat. I mean, I will too, but at least I'm conflicted about it.

I wish I could introduce myself, but I don't remember my name anymore. I mean, I think it started with an 'r' but that's all I have left. I can't remember my name, or my parents, or my job... although my hoodie would suggest I was unemployed.

I don't wanna be this way. I'm lonely. I'm totally lost. I mean, I'm literally lost. I've never been in this part of the airport before.

Even though we can't communicate, we do share a similar taste in food. Traveling in packs just kind of makes sense. Especially when everyone and their grandmother is trying to shoot you in the head all the time.

God we move slow. This could take a while.

This date is not going well. I want to die all over again.

Julie and I were giving the others hope, and it was spreading fast. I guess the Bonies didn't like that. That must be why they're looking for us. I have to tell Julie. I have to explain what's happening before it's too late. I have to…

...oh... no... oh no... please... go! Go with your friends! Shoo! Leave me! That's it. Okay.

So much for dreaming. You can't be whatever you want. All I'll ever be is a slow, pale, hunched-over, dead-eyed zombie. What did I think was gonna happen? That she'd actually want to stay with me? It's hopeless. This is what I get for wanting more. I should just be happy with what I had. Things don't change. I need to accept that. It's easier not to feel. Then I wouldn't have to feel like this.

Stay... together... safe.