W. Monologues

A chronicle of the life and Presidency of George W. Bush.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me... and won't get fooled again.

I for one will not stand for the subsidization of failure. How do you know if you measure up if you have a system that simply

suckles them through.

More government's not the answer. We must have the attitude that every child in America, regardless where raised can learn. Rarely is the question asked is their children learning.

Just tell me what to do, whatever it takes. Look if I need to read the whole damn Constitution I'll do it.

Hey so, what's that old battle axe Helen Thomas writing on about now? Did she say anything about, uh, ya know, Iraq?

Did you tell her I don't like mud-suckers who gas their own people? Did you tell her I don't like ass holes that try to kill my father? Did you tell her that I was gonna kick his sorry mother fricken ass all over the Mid East?

Um… uh… Now, I wish you would have given me this written question beforehand, John, so I… So I could prepare for it. Well… You know, I… I just, uh… uh… John, I'm sure historians will say, "Gosh," you know. "I wish he could have done better." You know, this way or that way, uh… I… Yeah… I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of the press conference with all the pressure of trying to come up with an answer but it hasn't yet. You know, I hope, uh… I don't wanna sound like, uh, I haven't made no mistakes. You know, I'm confident I have. It's just, I haven't, uh… You know, you really put me on the spot here, John. And maybe I'm not as quick, uh, on my feet as I should be in coming up with one but, uh…

Well, uh, I'm gonna deregulate school districts so that teachers and administrators can, you know, can develop programs to best fit their kids

Oh, well, we need to make a wholesale effort against racial profiling, you know? Which is, uh, illiterate children. You need to be able to teach a child to read and then he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

Because you're too much like me. You're loud, and you've got a short fuse. Now, Jeb is like your father. He thinks before he speaks.

Whose job is it, to find these damn weapons?

I think we missed the side road!

I believe God wants me to be president!

Iran is not Iraq and Iraq is not Iran. I know that.

The only way to win is to leave before the job is done.