Three Amigos Monologues


Three actors accept an invitation to a Mexican village to perform their onscreen bandit fighter roles, unaware that it is the real thing.


Lucky Day Monologues

You dirt-eating piece of slime! You scum-sucking pig! You son of a motherless goat!

In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!

Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.

Reading telegram: "Three Amigos, Hollywood, California. You are very great. 100,000 pesos. Come to Santa Poco put on show, stop. The In-famous El Guapo."

100,000 pesos to perform with this El Guapo, who's probably the biggest actor to come out of Mexico!

My little Buttercup has the sweetest smile/ Dear little Buttercup, won't you stay a while?/ We'll settle down together in a cottage built for two/ Oh, Dear little Buttercup, I love you!

C'mon, everybody!

My little Buttercup has the sweetest…

Dear little Buttercup, won't you stay a…

We'll settle down together in a cottage built for two, ohh…

Little Buttercup!

Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!

A car. A big, shiny silver car. I'll drive all over Hollywood. Show Flugleman a thing or two. What about you?

What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show.

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