The Switch Monologues

Seven years after the fact, a man comes to the realization that he was the sperm donor for his best friend's boy.

Look at us. Running around, always rushed, always late. I guess that's why they call it the human race. What we crave most in this world is connection. For some people it happens at first site. It's when you know, you know. It's fate working its magic. And that's great for them. They get to live in a pop song; ride the express train. But that's not the way it really works. For the rest of us it's a bit less romantic. It's complicated and it's messy. It's about horrible timing and fumbled opportunities. And not being able to say what you need to say when you need to say it. At least, that's the way it was for me.

Every once in a while, out of all the randomness, something unexpected happens that pushes us all forward. And the truth is, what I'm struggling to think, and what I'm struggling to feel, is that maybe the human race isn't a race at all.

Oh yeah? You enjoy that, there's gonna come a time in your life when you're not gonna want people to know it's your birthday.

Because getting old sucks. Most people don't accomplish what they'd hope to and they realize that they are most likely not going to. They end up living these quite lives of denial, and uh... brushing birthdays under the rug just becomes a part of that.

Not specifically Parkinson's, But I'm not gonna lie, I've had my bouts with hypochondria.

That's thinking you have diseases that you don't really have.

So that we're clear, she did not put me in the friend zone. We put each other in the friend zone. It was a mutual placement. You know that.

What is that even supposed to mean?

I see. So just so that I'm clear, which one of your three failed marriages taught you that lesson?

Look at. Running around. Always rushed. Always late. Guess that's why they called it the human race. But sometimes, it slows down just enogh for all the pieces fall into place Fate works it's magic. And you're connected.

Neurotic is simply an intense form of introspection. You're be called introspective and being introspective is good. You walk around with an opinion, with point of view, and some source of nice kind of direction.