The Importance of Being Earnest Monologues

In 1890s London, two friends (Rupert Everett as Algy, Colin Firth as Jack) use the same pseudonym ("Ernest") for their on-the-sly activities. Hilarity ensues.

Well, I must say, Algy, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd!

I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delecate, exotic fruit. Touch it, and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did it would prove a serious threat to the upper classes, and probably lead ot acts of violence in Grosvenor Square.

35 is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained 35 for years.

The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life.

Mr. Worthing. I must confess that I feel somewhat bewildered by what you have just told me. To be born, or at any rate bred in a handbag, whether it have handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life which reminds one of the worst excesses of the French revolution, and I presume you know what that unfortunate movement led to?

Come on, Gwendolyn, we have already missed five, if not six trains! To miss any more might expose us to comments on the platform.

I don't know whether there is anything particularly exciting about the air in this particular part of Hertfordshire, but the number of engagements that go on seem to me to be considerably above the proper average that statistics have laid down for our guidance.

Sorry if we are a little late, Algy. I was obliged to call on dear Lady Harbury. I have not been there since her husband's death. I never saw a woman so altered. She looks quite twenty years younger.

To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.

I have always been of the opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing. Which do you know?

I am pleased to hear it. I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a very delicate exotic fruit. Touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately, in England at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor's Square.