The Gift Monologues

A fortune teller with extrasensory perception is asked to help find a young woman who has mysteriously disappeared.

I'm guilty of cheating on my wife, of being a bad husband, a bad Christian. But I ain't guilty of killing Jessica. I swear to God.

I bet you love your little children, don't you? I bet they need their mama, don't they?

What's your name?

Get your ass out of my house! Don't you threaten me or my kids! Now what I do here is my buisness. And if your wife has any sense, she'll leave you so far behind, you'll never find her. Now you get out of here before I have you thrown in jail!

She's a God damn witch! She's putting spells on every-damn-body in town!

You know what this is? It's a voodoo doll. I'm gonna use this voodoo doll on you. Some of your own medicine. If you don't stop seeing my wife, I'm sticking me a pin in this thing every night, till you learn to leave folks alone.

Messing with the devil's gonna get you burned. Everybody knows that.

Witch!

Get your god damn ass in the truck

I asked her that myself one time. She said I was the only man in town that knew how to fuck.

Buddy, you better mind your own business.

Mother fucker! God damn it! Fuck! Mother fucker!