The First Time Monologues

A shy senior and a down-to-earth junior fall in love over one weekend.

Last summer, I, uh, I got to visit my uncle and his boyfriend in Madrid and one day I was just like, walking around and I got lost. And I, and I, my cellphone was dead and I had no idea where their apartment was and then, and then I was worried because I was, like, going to have to adapt to life as a street person in Madrid and finally, I like, wandered out into this plaza and I sat down by a fountain and I just, like, breathed. And I realized, I had been so focused on where I was going and, and getting back that I hadn't even noticed… where I was. And I hadn't noticed anything. And so I, I started to. I started to notice the… personality of the architecture and, like the, the way the people would just like, greet each other in the streets and even the sky looked… like, different over there. And it felt like I was just letting go of something… But also like finally in the world… And, you know, I eventually found my way back but those few hours, those were like the best, the best part of my trip. And I just, I wanna get back out there so bad. There's so much stuff I wanna see…

Your balls are vibrating.

Everything cool has been ruined. Was before we got here. Even sex and relationships. It's all just so safe and convenient. Homogenized. You know, exchange profiles, boil your personality down to some, like, compatibility equation. You know, what's your favorite movie? Who's your favorite recording artist? And then, with one easy click, we too can realize our dream of boning someone exactly like us. Get married, give birth to two and a half babies. We can all post the pictures on Facebook or Twitter. No, that's... that is not for me.

I wanna meet a man the old-fashioned way, you know, like… in a bar.

You know, none of my theories are wrong, by the way. They're just not fully developed yet.

No. It's just… sleep-overs, camp, I always hated them. Not… because I minded being away, but because there was always some mouth-breather next to me.

Not… yet. I just… Maybe we could lie here for a minute. And… and I could just close my eyes, see what it's like, is it okay?