Sex, Lies, and Videotape Monologues

A sexually repressed woman's husband is having an affair with her sister. The arrival of a visitor with a rather unusual fetish changes everything.

I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they're attracted to, and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love.

You're right, I've got a lot of problems... But they belong to me.

This isn't supposed to happen. I've spent nine years structuring my life so this didn't happen.

No, it's just, I, you know, I just think - right now I have one key and everything I own is in the car, and I just... I like that, you know? I mean, I just, if I get an apartment, that two keys, if I... get a job, you know, I might have to open or close, that's more keys, you know, buy some stuff, I'm afraid it's gonna get ripped off, or something, and I get more keys, and I just, I, you know, I just like having the one key, it's clean.

No, I... ahem... I don't think that's a good idea.

Because I don't think it's a choice that you'd make in a normal frame of mind.

That's a good question.

So, I don't… I don't understand, uh, what made you want to come here. I can't imagine Ann painted a very flattering portrait of me.

And I'm telling you it's not any one thing that I can point to and say "That's why!" It doesn't work that way with people who have problems, Ann, it's not that neat, it's not hat tidy! It's not a series of little boxes that you can line up and count. Things just don't happen that way.

Was it a topic of conversation between you after that?

What a shame. When did you finally see a penis?

So, what'd you think? Was it what you expected it to be?

One woman used up only 3 minutes, and another used three 2-hour tapes.

No, I - I, you know, I - I believe in it for some people. I - I don't know, it was silly for me. I was confused going in. So, I just - I formed my own theory that - you should never take advice from someone that doesn't know you intimately.

Oh, you've had sex with your therapist.

Oh, I'm sorry. That's what I meant.

Well, I've been watching you. You know, I've been watching you. I've watched you eat, you know, I've watched you speak, I've watched you move, and I - I see somebody who is extremely aware of people looking at.

Um, not usually. No, yeah. Yeah, I'm self-conscious. Um, I'm not in the same way you are.

Well, I've been watching you. You know, I've been watching you. I've watched you eat, you know, I've watched you speak, I've watched you move, and I - I see somebody who is extremely aware of people looking at.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. My mother is a complete Anglophile, anything British makes her drool like a baby. So, she - you know, I mean she heard the name in a movie or something. She's a prisoner of public television now.

What is the most - unusual location you've ever masturbated in?

How were you able to not betray what was going on, to the people around you?

I don't have the slightest idea of who I am. And I'm supposed to be able to explain to you? And why? You tell me why? Why do I have to explain myself to you?

A personal project like anyone else's personal project. Mine's just a little more personal, I guess.

You think they're yours, but they're not. Everybody that walks in that door becomes part of your problem. Anybody that comes in contact with you. I didn't want to be part of your problem, but I am. I'm leaving my husband, and maybe I would have anyway, but the fact is, is, I'm doing it now, and part of it's because of you. You've had an effect on my life.

So let me see, you said, um, you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right… right?

Right. And, uh, we haven't had sex…

right?

So, I, I, I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take your advice.

You're not gonna worry in losing them, I always lose my keys, I hate that.

My life is shit. It's just shit. Nothing's what I thought it was. John's a bastard. Let's make a videotape.

Why not?

And what would you know about a normal frame of mind?

I want out of this marriage.

I. Want. Out. Of. This. Marriage.

I think that um... I think that sex is overrated. I think that people place far too much importance on it, and I think that stuff about women wantin' it just as bad as men is crap. I mean I think that women want it, I just don't think that they want it for the same reason that men think they do.

I want to know why you are the way you are!

Being happy isn't all that great. I mean… the last time I was… really happy… I got really fat.

I thought about you. Have you thought about me?

What did you think?

I'd like to know what I look like havin' an orgasm. Can you do that?

I've just got all this time on my hands, and I just sit around and start inventing these, like, intricate scenarios...

And then I don't want to have wasted all my time, so I want to believe in them.

Garbage. All I've been thinking about all week is garbage. I mean, I just can't stop thinking about it.

Anyway, being happy isn't all that great. I mean, the last time I was really happy… I got so fat. I must have put on 25 pounds. I thought John was gonna have a stroke.

It makes me angry because I can't justify being angry.

You never used to say the word "fucking."

I brought you this. I knew it was your birthday.

I always lose my keys. I hate that.

You can't possibly trust him. He's perverted.

That's beautiful… That's really beautiful

I'm sure he probably wishes that I would initiate things once in awhile - and I would except for - it just never occurs to me, And the few times I have felt like, I was by myself.

What do you mean?

Oh, oh. God, no! No. Uh-uh.

Well, I tried once. It just seemed so stupid!

I don't know, it just seemed like a dumb thing to do and, God, you know, and then I started worrying that my dead grandfather was maybe watching me, you know, and oh - oh, it just seemed is stupid.

Oh, they're fine. I mean, they're fine. Except for I'm kinda going through this thing where I don't want him to touch me.

Oh, John, I don't know. I just feel so stupid sitting there talking about my little problems when I know those poor children are starving.

I've never really been that much into sex. I mean, I like it and everything; but, you know, I just don't think it's such a big deal and, oh, I wouldn't miss it, you know, kind of thing. But, well lately I've just been kinda curious about how things have slacked off.

That's how Cynthia thinks. I hate it when I have feelings that she has. It bothers me when I think about men; because, I know that's the way she thinks.