Pee-wee’s Big Adventure Monologues

When eccentric man-child Pee-wee Herman gets his beloved bike stolen in broad daylight, he sets out across the U.S. on the adventure of his life.

There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

But what? Everyone I know has a big "But...? C'mon, Simone, let's talk about *your* big "But".

Yeah, I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest...

This box contains over 217 bits and pieces of information, evidence. Exhibit A: A photograph of the victims, my bike and me.

Exhibit B: Another photograph. What's missing from this picture? It's just me... WITHOUT MY BIKE!

Is this something you can share with the rest of us Amazing Larry?

Exhibit C: The horn I was picking up at Chuck's Bikeorama when my bike was actually stolen!

Exhibit D: Jimmy what is this? Too late! Chip!

Exactly! I bought this pen exactly one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I DON'T KNOW!

Is this something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?

Exhibit Q: a scale-model of the entire mall! X marks the scene of the crime. These arrows here show the exact position of the sun at the hour of the crime. Jupiter was aligned with Pluto! The moon was in the seventh...

Please save your questions until I'm THROUGH, Chuck!

Go ahead and scream your head off! We're miles from where anyone can hear you!

Gee, I guess I was wrong. We don't have to involve the authorities in this matter, do we, Mr. Buxton? It was an honest mistake, and I'm very sorry.

There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...

Exhibit D. Jimmy! What is this? Too late! Chip!

Exactly! I bought this pen one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I don't know!