Pain and Gain Monologues

A trio of bodybuilders in Florida get caught up in an extortion ring and a kidnapping scheme that goes terribly wrong.

Why'd you make me do that to you, Victor? I have responsibilities! Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts! One of them is knocking someone the fuck out!

Oh, this place has a lot of fond memories for me. The very first time I bashed a man's skull in was here, and it was a mess! But that bat was aluminum. I've switched to wood. So you should get your ass out here right now or I'll bash your brains all over that wall with one fucking swing.

Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts, one of them is knocking someone the fuck out!

There is life after death. Of that, I am sure. But I'm also pretty sure dead people no longer need their stuff.

You know why habit rhymes with rabbit? Because your life goes down a rabbit hole.

They got my toe! You can see the bone!

Hey, little buddy, you hungry?

Jesus may exalt, but cocaine is KING!

Don't eyeball me! I've seen your mother driving up and down these streets looking at me! I'll be your stepfather in about a week!

I have no sympathy for people who squander their gifts. It's sickening. It's worse than sickening. It's unpatriotic.

Life's gonna give me another set. I know it will.

My name is Daniel Lugo, and I believe in fitness. All this began because it was time to push myself harder, otherwise I was looking at another forty years wearing sweatpants to work…

If you're willing to do the work, you can have anything. That's what makes the U.S. of A great. When it started, America was just a handful of scrawny colonies. Now, it's the most buff, pumped-up country on the planet. That's pretty rad.

In the end after reviewing our past performance, we could come to only one conclusion. We're so much better when we wing it.

Sometimes God just fucks up your order and you gotta chow down on that shitty shame sandwich.

No, man! We snatch him, we grab him, signs a few signature, we give him a protein shake! He dunnit even know what happened! I watched a lot of movies Paul, I know what I'm doing!

I put up with stuff that they don't have names for in civil society.

Victor Kershaw is a criminal prick, who deserves bad stuff to happen to him!

I don't just want everything you have... I want you not to have it!