Mr. Nobody Monologues

A boy stands on a station platform as a train is about to leave. Should he go with his mother or stay with his father? Infinite possibilities arise from this decision. As long as he doesn't choose, anything is possible.

Every path is the right path. Everything could've been anything else. And it would have just as much meaning.

Before he was unable to make a choice because he didn't know what would happen. Now that he knows what will happen, he is unable to make a choice.

At my age the candles cost more than the cake. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid I haven't been alive enough. It should be written on every school room blackboard: Life is a playground - or nothing.

Like most living creatures, the pigeon quickly associates the pressing of the level with the reward. But when a timer releases a seed automatically every 20 seconds, the pigeon wonders, what did I do to deserve this? If it was flapping its wings at the time, it will continue to flap, convinced that its actions have the decisive influence on what happens. We call this "pigeon superstition".

What did I do to deserve this?

"After death." How can you be so sure you even exist?

You don't exist. Neither do I. We only live in the imagination of a 9 year old child. We are imagined by 9 year old child, faced with an impossible choice.

Each of these lives is the right one! Every path is the right path. Everything could have been anything else and it would have just as much meaning.

've got nothing to say to you. I'm Mr. Nobody, a man who doesn't exist.

There were cars that polluted. We smoked cigarettes. We ate meat. We did everything we can't do in this dump and it was wonderful! Most of the time nothing happened… like a French movie.

Ha, ha! We screwed! Everybody was always screwing. We fell in love… we fell in love.

What was there before the big bang? Well, you see, there was no before because before the big bang, time did not exist. Time is a result of the expansion of the universe itself. But what will happen when the universe has finished expanding?

It should be written on every schoolroom blackboard: life is a playground or nothing.

Urgh, you're still here? Did I fall asleep? Sometimes I don't sleep so I think... I think about how it was... and all I have left. What do you see when you look at me? A grumpy old man who never answers questions? Who mixes everything up? Who's kept busy by getting his meals? That's not me. Me... I wear shorts. I'm nine years old. I can run faster than the train. I can't feel my aching back anymore. I'm fifteen. I'm fifteen and I'm in love.

Sometimes people call me Mr. Craft. C-R-A-F-T. Can't Remember A Fucking Thing.

I often have this dream. In prehistoric times, I can hear you screaming. I chase the bear and you're not afraid anymore, but when I wake up, there's no bear... but you're still afraid. And I'm not a bear hunter. I'm an executive at a plant that manifactures photocopying machines that just quit his job. I don't dare to move, I don't live, whatever I do is a disaster. I would love to set out to chase the bear away and for you to not be afraid anymore.

I always liked fish. I never thought that one day they would like me too.

Everything works out in the end, even badly.