K-PAX Monologues

PROT is a patient at a mental hospital who claims to be from a faraway planet named K-PAX. His psychiatrist tries to help him, only to begin to doubt his own explanations.

I wanna tell you something Mark, something you do not yet know, that we K-PAXians have been around long enough to have discovered. The universe will expand, then it will collapse back on itself, then will expand again. It will repeat this process forever. What you don't you know is that when the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you will live through again, & again, forever. So my advice to you is to get it right this time around. Because this time is all you have.

Every being in the universe knows right from wrong, Mark.

I would say that you misread Einstein, Dr. Powell. May I call you Mark? You see Mark, what Einstein actually said was that nothing can accelerate to the speed of light because its mass would become infinite. Einstein said nothing about entities already traveling at the speed of light or faster, at tachyon speeds.

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. How many doctors are there on this planet?

Let me tell you something, Mark. You humans, most of you, subscribe to this policy of an eye for an eye, a life for a life, which is known throughout the universe for its... stupidity. Even your Buddha and your Christ had quite a different vision, but nobody's paid much attention to them, not even the Buddhists or the Christians. You humans. Sometimes its hard to imagine how you've made it this far.

You know, for an educated person, Mark, you repeat things quite a bit. Are you aware of that? A soap bubble is round because it is the most energy-efficient configuration. Similarly, on your planet I look like you. On K-PAX I look like a K-PAXian.

Well, I've been here many times before. But what brought me here first? I don't know. Pure curiosity, I guess. I'd never been to a Class BA-3 planet before.

I will admit the possibility that I am Robert Porter, if you will admit the possibility that I am from K-PAX. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a beam of light to catch.

She says she doesn't like it when you hide her favorite tennis shoe, and she doesn't hear so well on her left side, so don't sneak up on her anymore.

You know what I've learned about your planet? There's enough life on Earth to fill 50 planets. Plants, animals, people, fungi, viruses, all jostling to find their place, bouncing off each other, feeding off each other. Connected.

Nobody wants, nobody needs. On K-PAX, when I'm gone, nobody misses me. There would be no reason to. And yet I sense that when I leave here… I will be missed. Yes. Strange feeling.

Oh, yes. Much like on Earth, but unlike you humans, the reproductive process is, uh, quite unpleasant for us.

It's more like having your nuts in a vise, except we feel it all over. And to make matters worse, the sensation is associated with something like your nausea accompanied by a very bad smell. The moment of climax is like being kicked in the stomach and then falling into a pool of mot droppings.

Well, actually, there are ten, but that doesn't matter. I'm not from your solar system. K-PAX is about 1,000 of your light-years away from here in what you would call your constellation Lyra

You seem overly upset, Mark. To borrow a phrase from Navarro: You need to chill. For your information: All beings have the capacity to cure themselves, Mark. This is something we've known on K-PAX for millions of years.