Julien Donkey-Boy Monologues

A portrait of the effects of schizophrenia on family life is the central focus.

No, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, I... I don't like it because it's so artsy-fartsy. You see, I like the real stuff. I like something like... the end of Dirty Harry. I saw this Dirty Harry and it... it's really... OH!

There is this TREMENDOUS shoot-out. You should really listen. Just listen. Listen. Just LISTEN. There was this shoot-out… Dirty Harry has this bad guy cornered, I mean, he was a… real, real bad guy. And there's this tremendous shoot-out that, that… really exchanged lots of fire there… shooting bullets at each other and they keep missing. At the end, the bad guy drops his gun and it's just, down there on the… on the bottom. And Harry hovers over him and now Harry, I mean, he's really full of contempt… Harry standing there, he's totally full of contempt, and he… says to him… "There are many other bullets, do you still think there is a bullet left in your gun?" And he says to him "You know. Now you gotta ask yourself a question… Do I feel lucky?" At that moment, the bad guy lounges for his gun, raises it and it just says "click"!

He's only got one bullet left and Harry blast him, he just blast him... into a river, and blast him and knocks off him his feet and blast him away. You see, that's... It's good stuff. I think you'd like that. I don't like the artsy-fartsy thing, I think I... I think I hated his poem.

If I were so stupid, I would slap my own face.

Where are you mount Everest? Give me some Everest.

Don't scream. I don't want you to scream. Be a man and quit that moody brooding.

You're going to be a winner; just don't shiver. A winner doesn't shiver.

I don't want a coward in the family.

I don't want this escaping. All this moody brooding; I just don't like that.

So, number one. I don't want all this plastic in my garden. And, do you feel like a winner?