Jersey Boys Monologues

The story of four young men from the wrong side of the tracks in New Jersey who came together to form the iconic 1960s rock group The Four Seasons.

Like that bunny on TV, it just keeps going and going and going. Chasing the music. Trying to find our way home.

They ask you "what was the high point?" Hall of Fame, selling all those records, pulling Sherry out of the hat, it was all great. But four guys under a street lamp, when it was all still ahead of us, the first time we made that sound, our sound. When everything dropped away and all there was was the music. That was the best.

Tommy you don't give a shit about the group, you never have. It's always been whatever it is you got going and then there's the group. You never want to rehearse, you drop Nicky to drink, you put Bob through the ringer, and forget about trying to mess with my head, which you've done from day one. You know the shame of it is you're not a bad musician if you give a little time, but no. You're too busy shooting your mouth off or buying apartments to keep your girlfriends in. But no more. All that bullshit is over.

Friends, right. Not one Christmas present, not one Christmas card. The one time we go for a mean and you pick up the cheque. The one time you ask me how my kids are doing, how I'm doing! God help me Tommy, part of me would really like to see you hurt.

They ask you "what was the high point?" Hall of Fame, selling all those records, pulling Sherry out of the hat, it was all great. But four guys under a streetlamp, when it was all still ahead of us, the first time we made that sound, our sound. When everything dropped away and all there was was the music. That was the best.

Like that bunny on TV with the battery, I just keep going and going and going. Chasing the music. Trying to get home.

They ask you what was the high point? Hall of Fame? Selling all those records? Pulling "Sherry" out of the hat? It was all great. But four guys under a streetlamp, when it was all still ahead of us, first time we made that sound - our sound - when everything dropped away and all there was was the music, that was the best.

I mean, this woman - People turn into something.

Oh, by the way, if you're ever in Vegas, go to a casino. Say the name, "Tommy DeVito". My hand to God, you'll be outta there in about 12 seconds.

Forget sense. Forget sense. I got a couple of things I could… I could work something out.

Alright Nicky, shut your trap alright, and drink your wine! DeCarlo's not running this group, I am. I don't even know what we're doing here, begging Gyp for help. You make me look like an asshole, all of ya's.

You know what'd be nice, since I was here before any of you? A little respect.

You know something? At least I tried, huh? You think it's easy running the group? Dealing with the club owners, the managers, the record companies? Everybody trying to fuck you five ways from Sunday? You don't care how it gets done Nicky, I took care of it! Me!

There's two types of women. There's Type A and Type B. Type A: They're real easy. They jump right into bed with you. Boom, boom, boom. Then later on, they break your balls.

You wanna hear the real story? I'm the one you wanna talk to: Tommy DeVito. Wasn't for me, we would have wound up in the trunk with a bullet in our head. There's even a street named after me. Of course, it don't come easy. You gotta have talent and skill and vision. And luck.

You know what I do now? I work for Joe Pesci. Little Joey Fishes, same kid I used to smack around. A couple of months ago, we were driving through the old neighborhood. He says "Hey Tommy, how do you remember yourself back then?" I says "I think I was a pretty stand up guy." He says "I gotta be honest with you. You were total prick. Nobody would have put up with your shit except we all needed something. Everybody remembers it the way they need to, right?

By the way, if you're ever in Vegas go to down a casino, say the name Tommy DeVito. My hand to god, you'll be out of there in about 12 seconds.

Love? I'll be honest with you. I never knew what that was. Marriage? Marriage is not love. Marriage is you take a shave while your wife sits on the can and clips her toenails.

Between you and me - and don't print this because he doesn't want it out there - I taught him everything he knows.

Excuse me, with all due respect, he opened it up, I'm gonna say something. I've been rooming with this guy on and off for what is it, ten years? This was not a walk in a park, this was a sentence. A ten year sentence. The man is a personal nightmare. He wears the same underwear 3 days running. He takes no pride in his appearance in the simple amenities of life. You wanna talk about towels? The man cannot be in a hotel without using all the towels. I'm talking face towels, bath towels, the bathmat, the little washcloths like he's living alone. You need a towel, you know where it is? In a wet pile on the floor. I come back to the room one time, the man is pissing in the sink.

Right in the sink, right in the fucking sink! I say "Tommy, what's wrong with you? There's a toilet over there." He says "This was closer." This is what I'm dealing with! The man is not properly socialized. Frankie doesn't have to deal with it, Gaudio doesn't, I've had to deal with it. TEN YEARS!

Alright, I'll be honest with you. It could have been an ego thing, everybody wants to be up front. But if there is four guys, and you're Ringo? Better I should spend some time with my kids.

People always ask the same question, why'd you do it Nicky? Why'd you walk away? Well let me clear that up. It wasn't the signed deal, it wasn't the touring, it wasn't the bad food or rooming with Tommy, it just came out of my mouth. Once I said it, I knew it was what I wanted. I wanted to go home.

Bob will tell you it was all smooth sailing right up until we hit the iceberg with Tommy and the $150 thousand. That's Bob. Who was always looking so far into the future he never saw what was going on under his nose. Fact is, the trouble didn't start at the Sullivan Show. It started long before that.

You'd think after everything that went down, Frankie would have cut Tommy loose right then. If that's what you think, you're not from Jersey.

Everybody wants to be up front. But if there's four guys, and you're Ringo? Better I should spend some time with my kids.