Fast Times at Ridgemont High Monologues

A group of Southern California high school students are enjoying their most important subjects: sex, drugs and rock n' roll.

I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.

That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.,

Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

All right, now pay attention. First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl.

"Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

I woke up in a great mood; I don't know what the hell happened.

I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of fuckin' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.

You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy.

I think I just came... didn't you feel it?

Look at you: member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater. I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?

Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Robin Zander, or the charisma of Rick Nielsen?

It's never too soon, Rat. I mean, a girl decides how far she's gonna let you go in the first five minutes.

This is going to be great, Rat. It's like the highlight of their day.

What are you kidding? We're gunna surprise them. Look, just fix your collar, alright? Relax, just be cool, attitude, remember? Where'd you get that, outta the hamper?

Look Rat, it's like riding a bike. Fall off; you're right back on. Mess up a date, do it again.

Earth, Wind and Fire? Geez, eh, I haven't heard anything. But, the minute I do, I'll let you know.