Edward Scissorhands Monologues

The solitary life of an artificial man - who was incompletely constructed and has scissors for hands - is upended when he is taken in by a suburban family.

My, those are your hands? Those are your hands! What happened to you? Where are your parents? Um… Your mother? Your father?

Are you alone? Do you live up here all by yourself? What happened to your face? No, I won't hurt you. But at the very least, let me give you a good astringent. And this will help to prevent infection. What's your name?

Edward… I think you should just come home with me.

Why are you hiding back there? You don't have to hide from me - I'm Peg Boggs, your local Avon representative and I'm as harmless as cherry pie...

The light concealing cream goes on first. Then you blend, and blend, and blend. Blending is the secret.

No, not since last season. Today I've come to show you our exquisite new line in softer colours in shadows, blushes and lipstick. Everything you need to accent and highlight your changing look.

You want to see the pictures? All right. Well, this is my husband Bill. He's a bowling champion. Do you know what bowling is? Bowling? No. Well... here they are down at the lake, fishing. I think Kevin looks a little glum because they didn't catch anything that day. And, um... here's my daughter Kim. All dressed for the junior prom. She's a senior now, if you can believe it! She's camping in the mountains with some friends... but she'll be back in a few days. And you can meet her then. Isn't she beautiful. That's my family. Now, come along dear. I'll show you the rest of the house. Then you can just freshen up and make yourself at home. That's the kitchen over there. You help yourself to anything you want to eat or drink. Those are grapes. And, um... back here are the bedrooms. Let me get you some towels and I'll see what we can find for you to wear. You know what? I think I have some of Bill's old clothes in here. This is perfect! Here.These should just fit you.

Oh! Oh no, don't be alarmed. That's just the phone. Now you can go in Kim's room and put these on, and I'll be right with you.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Avon calling. Oh, my. Hello? Hello? I'm Peg Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative. Hello? I… I'm sorry to barge in like this, but you don't have any reason to be afraid. Ooh! This is some huge house, isn't it? Thank goodness for those aerobics… classes. Hello? Hello?