Choke Monologues

A sex-addicted con-man pays for his mother's hospital bills by playing on the sympathies of those who rescue him from choking to death.

We are not born equal sinners, or perfect knock-offs of God. The world tells us whether we're heroes or victims. But, we can decide for ourselves.

And you're right-I'm pathetic. I have sex with strangers because I'm incapable of doing it with someone I actually like. I can't even ask anyone out on a date because if it doesn't end up in a high speed chase, I get bored. I've kept myself numb for so long that now I actually want to feel something and I can't because no matter where I go, no matter what I do, I always end up back here with you. I need to break up, Ma.

I still wonder about Paige. Another beautiful psycho like my mother or a twisted soulmate sent to bring me back to life. Only one way to find out.

even the worst blowjob is better than say, sniffing the greatest rose, or watching the greatest sunset.

As I reclaimed my personal booth at the cafe of diminished expectations, all I had to do was ask myself one simple question: What would Jesus NOT do?

I am the backbone of colonial America!

Sometimes you have to loose everything before the penny finally drops… or… whatever.So here's what I figured out.We're not evil sinners or perfect knock offs of god.We let the world tell us weather we're saints or sex addicts.Sane or insane.Heroes or victims.Weather we're good mothers,or loving sons.But we can decide for ourselves.As a certain wise fugitive once told me,sometimes its not important which way you jump,just that you jump.

I wish I could say I left the circuit completely behind me, but that wouldn't be entirely true.