About Last Night Monologues

A man and woman meet and try to have a romantic affair, despite their personal problems and the interference of their disapproving friends.

You know what Joan, if you didn't have a pussy there'd be a bounty on your head. You know that?

Yeah. Yeah, right. So you want to dance or what?

Interesting broad. Where'd she develop her personality? A car crash?

I'm gonna let you guys do what you guys gotta do. Don't worry about me, I'm just gonna go home, make a little macaroni and cheese, seal the windows, and turn on the gas.

You've got a lot of brass balls, you know that. I do all the work, you take all the credit. You know what your problem is? Your face.

Come on, wise up, man, you're too good-looking. These girls go out with you and get nervous, man. They feel dumpy. They don't want to compete. They want a guy like - like me. You know, a guy that's gonna make *them* look good.

Right! The swarthy type. A man's man. The kind of guy who oozes testosterone.

Are you getting serious? Well, she seemed like a hell of a girl. From what little I saw of her. Not too this. Not too that. Very kind of, um, what?... Ah, what the fuck, I only saw her for a minute. First impressions of this kind can often be misleading. Does she give head?

You don't go here. You don't go there. You're about as much fun as a stick.

he best thing that could happen to you Danny, is an industrial accident.

This Carmen's a sure thing. She's hot, hot, hot. She'll grab your joint on the dance floor.

Come on. Come dancing. We'll go to my place, have a party. Play "Spin the Pickle". Come on.

You know, I've been wantin' to do this my whole life. I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks, Mother.

You know, everyone said you were dead. They said, "Dan is dead." But, I said, "No, no, no. He was my best friend. He would've called me for the funeral."

I mean, what the fuck. If a guy wants to get on with a broad on a more or less stable basis, who's to say to him no? Huh? A lot of these broads, you know, you just don't know, you know. I mean, a young woman in today's society, by the time she's 22-23, you don't know where the fuck she's been. Hey, that''s your business, right?