A Simple Plan Monologues

Three blue-collar acquaintances come across millions of dollars in lost cash and make a plan to keep their find from the authorities, but it isn't long before complications and mistrust weave their way into the plan.

When I was still just a kid, I remember my father telling me what he thought that it took for a man to be happy. Simple things, really. A wife he loves, a decent job, friends and neighbors who like and respect him. And for a while there, without hardly even realizing it, I had all that. I was a happy man.

There are days when I manage not to think of anything at all. Not the money... Or the murders... Or Jacob. Days when Sarah and I try to pretend we're just like everyone else... as if none of it ever happened. Those days are few and far between.

Why would… why would anyone believe it? I mean… let's just think about this. If you and I both go into Carl's office tomorrow afternoon and we both claimed the other one killed Dwight Stephanson who do you think he's going to believe, huh? You? A 40 year old unemployed high school drop-out who's proud of people calling him the town drunk or me? I've got a job. I don't get drunk and… and scream obscenities at my wife in public, I don't pass out on other people's doorways. I wonder who he's going to believe. Yeah… now we're all back in the same boat again. Isn't that right Jacob?

You seem to have forgotten we're all in this together.

You gonna start playing big brother now teaching me how to drink my whiskey?

Nobody gets hurt by us keeping it. I mean, that's what, that's what makes it a crime, doesn't it? Somebody getting hurt?

Yeah, but nobody's gonna get caught. The money is the only evidence that we've done something wrong. We sit on it, we see what happens. If somebody comes searching for it, then we just burn it and that will be that. There's no risk. We'll always be in control.

Like the one to take the money back to the plane, and we end up killing Stephanson. Or maybe the one where we tape Lou and two more people end up dead. Is that the sort of plan you're thinking of? Well, I've got a plan! I'm taking the money back right now, all of it!

Those things are always waiting on something to die, so they can eat it, right? Weird… What a weird job.

Hank, do you ever feel evil? I do.

I wish somebody else had found that money.

You know we don't have one thing in common me and him, except maybe our last name. You're more like a brother to me than he is.

God, Hank, you know, I've never, I've never even kissed a girl before. And you know what? If being rich will change that, I'm all for it. I don't care. I just wanna feel it, you know? I just wanna know what people do, you know? I don't care if it's 'cause of the money.

Hank, Dad killed himself, you know that?

On Jacksborough Road, that's like that ramp is where he went everyday. He don't go the wrong way over on a ramp like that. He'd been on that thing 8,000 times a year, you know. You think all of a sudden he forgot his way? Good grief. He figured that insurance would be… You know, it'd take care of the whole deal. He wanted to, you know…

You know that, Hank? I mean think about it.

You know, maybe I can get a family of my own now. I mean, with the money and all. Don't you think somebody would marry me if I'm rich?

Oh, her. Yeah. That was a whole different deal. That was… her friends, they pitched in 100 bucks altogether and bet her that she wouldn't go steady with me for a month.

I don't know, it... it weren't that bad. I mean actually... it was kind of cool. We used to walk around together a lot, you know. Take walks, you know? And, uh, we talked about all kind of cool stuff. I held hands with her one time. We were walking around, but my hand sweated so much, she kind of had to let it go. I was nervous, I guess. But it was cool. When the month was over, she, uh... you know, kinda would say hi to me sometimes in the hallway when I'd see her. She didn't have to do that. That was cool of her.

This is… this is the only thing. See, I don't wanna sit around the rest of my life thinking of this shit. I can't do it. Sit on the porch and drink. I can't do it, so you're gonna have to do it.

You can do this, it's gonna be perfect for you. And you got something. You got something to go on for, Hank, and you know it. I don't wanna be here.

Come on, Hank. Let me do something. You just tell the little girl that I… that, you know, the bear was from me. You know?

If you love me, Hank, you'll do it.

You see this… You see the way this guy drinks. You see Hank take a drink of that whiskey. It's like… it's like…

Like fucking you know like... what is this like? Some kind of commercial? For... Preparation 'X' or something like that. Like he lives on Primrose Lane. Drink like some God damn bird or something.

You ever seen anybody drink like that before?

I don't... I don't drink like that. My dad didn't drink like that.

If this guy's a dope dealer, then... like we're talking about, then that means we're like Robin Hood.

You know, we should never have let him keep that money.

No, I'm not shittin'. We shouldn't - We shouldn't have done that. We should have never let him keep that money.

Look how he's looking at us like he's fucking better than us. Like you own us or something.

Hey, Hank? I'm gonna be happy now, right?

Yeah, that's right. We all are.

I'll give you a chance. I won't look at you. I won't look at you, Hank. But if you don't do it... then I'm gonna do it, and then we're both gonna be fucked, aren't we? And we don't need to both be fucked. I'll... I'll do it, Hank, I'm telling you I will.

Boy, it's funny about finding this fucking plane, wasn't it?