William Somerset Monologues

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.” I agree with the second part.

If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he’s Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he’s not the devil. He’s just a man.

I just don’t think I can continue to live in a place that embraces and nurtures apathy as if it was virtue.

I didn’t say I was different or better. I’m not. Hell, I sympathize; I sympathize completely. Apathy is the solution. I mean, it’s easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It’s easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It’s easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. Hell, love costs: it takes effort and work.

On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a conversation. He made small talk, a lonely man talking about the weather and other things. I tried to be pleasant and accommodating, but my head hurt from his banality. I almost didn’t notice it had happened, but I suddenly threw up all over him. He was not pleased, and I couldn’t stop laughing.

If John Doe’s head splits open and a UFO should fly out, I want you to have expected it.

California, tell your people to stay away. Stay away now, don’t – don’t come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! John Doe has the upper hand!

But you gotta be a, a hero. You want to be a champion. Well, let me tell you. People don’t want a champion. They want to eat cheeseburgers, play the lotto and watch television.

Gentlemen, gentlemen… I’ll never understand. All these books, a world of knowledge at your fingertips. What do you do? You play poker all night.

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