Thelma Monologues

That guy was hurting me. If you hadn’t come out when you did, he would’ve hurt me a lot worse. And probably nothing would’ve happened to him ’cause everybody did see me dancin’ with him all night. They would’ve made out like I’d asked for it. My life would’ve been ruined a whole lot worse than it is now. At least now I’m havin’ some fun. And I’m not sorry that son of a bitch is dead. I’m just sorry it was you that did it and not me.

Good mornin’ ladies and gentlemen. This is a robbery. Now, if nobody loses their head, nobody will lose their head. Simon says y’all lie down on the floor, please, right away. Thank you. Ma’am, would you get down? Not you, sir. Let’s see who’ll win a prize for keepin’ their cool. Sir, will you do the honors? Take all the cash out of the drawer, put it in a paper bag.

You’re gonna have an amazing story to tell your friends. If not, you’ll have a tag on your toe. You decide. Hurry up. Let’s go. Ma’am, would you be quiet? Sir, get down, please. Thank you. Just stay there. Just get real comfortable. Hey, uh, throw in some bottles of Wild Turkey, too, will you?

Now, I swear three days ago neither one of us would’ve *ever* pulled a stunt like this, but if you was ever to meet my husband, you’d understand why.

You said you ‘n’ me was gonna get out of town and for once just really let our hair down. Well, darlin’, look out, ’cause my hair is comin’ down!

Oh! Oh, goddamn it! I don’t believe it. I’ve never been lucky! Not one time! Shit! That son of a bitch burned me. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it. Louise? You okay? Louise. I’m sorry, I mean it.

We’re running for our lives – cant you make an exception?

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