Staff Sgt. Sykes Monologues

We’ve all been taught that; “Thou shalt not kill.” But hear this: FUCK-THAT-SHIT!

Now to the rest of you, do you have what it takes to be the meanest, the cruelest, the most sadist unforgiving mother fuckers in God’s cruel kingdom?

Will you be able to one day say, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the baddest mother fucker in the God damn valley?”

You take what you know, and then you multiply. Please don’t use your dicks. They’re too small, and I can’t count that high. I don’t wanna hear, “400,000 inches.”

I told you to keep your fucking head down! If you’d listened to me, you’d still be fucking alive right now, stupid fuck!

I could be working with my brother right now. He’s got a dry-wall business in Compton. Does the inside of office buildings; you know, the metal studs. I could be his partner, said he’d give me that brand new Dodge Ram Charger. You know, the 318 Magnum? The beast? All indoor work, too, lots of AC. I could sleep with my wife every night, fuck her, maybe; take my kids to school every morning. And I’d run his crews, too, probably increase productivity 40 to 50%. Make $100K a year. Do you know why I don’t? Because I love this job. I thank God for every fucking day he gives me in the corps, oorah.

Staff Sergenat Siek. I’m with Surveillance and Target Acquisition. STA. I heard it took six guys to pull that little branding trick on you. And your file says that you ain’t dumb either. So you better get unsick most motha fucking rikey-tick, cause’ there’s a chance that you could be a scout sniper!

Details, gentlemen, details! Details is gonna be the difference between you killing your target or your target killing you.

We have more monologues for You!