Nicolai “Teddy” Itchenko Monologues

Who I am, or what I am? Who I am is complicated. What I am is a little easier. I’m a threat. I alter outcomes.

When you look at me, what do you see.

The answer’s nothing. I have no feeling about you one way or the other. You’re like… like lint or a bottle cap. You’re just a thing to remove.

Well, Mr. Looney, I appreciate your candor. It’s refreshing, and that makes me understand that you’re not smart enough to have done this.

Which brings me to my next issue. We pay you 15 percent to do business here. The additional 10 percent you steal, we ignore. We anticipated it, as you people are such clichés. The fact that you’re a rat to the Feds is also tolerable, Little John.

What we will not tolerate is… getting nothing for our money: no information, no protection… no assurances. You understand, Little Johnny?

Who I am? Or what I am? Who I am is complicated. What I am is easier, I’m a threat. I alter outcomes.

I want images from every security camera within a six-block radius. If you have any trouble call that number… and it will be taken care of. Phones charged and on. I tend to call at odd hours. Now, if you could drive me to my residence.

Let me apologize for my conduct. It was a long flight on short notice, and I… I like to focus, to work quickly. The deaths of Mr. Pushkin’s men have interrupted his operations here. Imports, movements of goods, have all ceased. That’s unacceptable. I am the one Mr. Pushkin calls in when people like you fuck up. I’m accountable now.

You have taken Mr. Pushkin’s money for years. Money that comes with conditions. Non-negotiable conditions. Problem you’re having with me is you still think you matter. You don’t. I’m all that matters. And so we’re clear. I’m not here to say “please.” I’m here to tell you what to do.

Be ready for business. We open tomorrow.

Well, I’m still sifting through things, but the killings were spontaneous. Whoever did this specialized in killing. I’ve rarely seen skills like this. I don’t think it’s someone we’ve encountered before.

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